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Christina Cook Lee

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Recognizing and dealing with one of the dangerous results of disappointment

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Topic: Anger

Focus: Recognizing and dealing with one of the dangerous results of disappointment

James 1:19-20 (NIV)  My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

I believe disappointment is one of the core factors in most cases of depression and dependency. Your dream job turned into a nightmare. The marriage you thought was ‘made in heaven’ ended up driving you to the brink of insanity. You lost your home. Your children turned their back on you. Your friend betrayed you.  Someone else took off with your BIG idea. Things didn’t turn out as you had hoped…

In the state of disappointment, we can be wishing for answers and be desperate for someone to understand us. But, often the minute anyone tries to approach us and offer help, we lash out with an impulsive and often insulting response that is unfair. Later, we may feel ashamed and bewildered—wondering, “Where did that come from?”

Anger is a touchy subject. It’s not fun to think about, talk about, or write about. We use all kinds of excuses to cover it up or justify the usually unplanned outbursts. Often, we blame others for the pain in our own heart that resulted from unresolved disappointment…that gave way to depression…that led to anger.

If left untended, anger can take on a life of its own. It can become ‘a place you go’, ‘a way you act’, or ‘where you live’. Anger has to go somewhere—but, it usually doesn’t just go away. It can grow, taking on different personalities and forms of expression. Sometimes you think it’s gone–and then, BAM.

(Read more below)

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Anger may be an active or passive reality in almost anyone’s life. We’ve all had experiences that would justify some type of anger.

The Bible doesn’t hide the fact that ‘anger happens’. But it does tell us how to deal with our anger.

Think of anger like gasoline. It is a known explosive. You wouldn’t light a match next to the open gas tank of your car. It would blow up–destroying your car, probably killing you and anyone else who was nearby.

You wouldn’t get in your car, turn on the ignition and then mash your accelerator to the floor and just leave it there until the car ran out of gas, would you? You would probably end up in a horrible crash, totally ruining your car, possibly harming yourself–and other people who couldn’t get out of your way…

When you are trying to recover from depression and dependency—anger is most likely something you battle with. At first, you might see it as ‘just letting off steam’. But even steam can cause treacherous burns and lasting scars.

The above scripture can help enormously. The technique of being quick to listen and slow to speak is God’s method for keeping things from getting out of control. If you’re battling anger, the only way you’re ever going to be able to manage it, is by making a conscious choice to stop blowing up. You also have to start taking ownership for ‘losing it’ and repent, if you fail.

It might be a good idea to copy down the words of the scripture for today on some paper and put it up in some prominent places where you’ll be reminded of it on a regular basis while you are working to reform your ways—especially when you feel things starting to get ‘hot’.

Declaration: I will find new strength by delaying my response when I’m provoked. To keep from further hurting myself and others—I choose to listen and wait.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Is love a choice, or not? 

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Topic: Love

Focus: Is love a choice, or not?

1 John 4:7-8 (NKJV) Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

‘Love’ is something that people like us—those who have battled with depression and dependency—have probably not been entirely successful at. There are a number of failed relationships in my past—probably in yours, too. How do we deal with that? How do we look at this scripture and think that we could have stuck it out with that abusive spouse–or that we should have been able to face the awfulness of our circumstances or fears without wanting to medicate ourselves or run?

We make a lot of choices in life. We choose whether we will have a soft drink, juice, tea, coffee, or water–based on ‘what we feel like having’, or what food we will be drinking it with.

Our decision of what movie to watch might be made depending on what kind of mood we are in at the time. We even pick out our clothes for the day from an emotional standpoint, the weather, or what kind of an impression we want to make.

Most of us have been raised to think for ourselves, so that we have become pretty fickle about a lot of things. When someone asks if we want to go somewhere or do something, we carefully calculate whether we might find anything more interesting to do during that time—maybe with another person, or whether we might rather spend the time doing something else we would prefer to do, or if maybe we’d just like to not do anything…before we are willing to commit.

(Read more below)

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

Even going into a coffee shop, the choices are seemingly endless. Regular coffee or decaf? Sugar, cream,  both, or neither? Hot coffee or iced? Coffee with flavored syrup or spiked with an extra shot of espresso?

Choices. I heard a message once, where it was stated that, ‘love is a choice’—meaning that when we are going through things that make loving someone, or people in general, a difficult thing to do—looking at love as something that you have decided in your heart to do—feel like it, or not–can help. That is an interesting concept and sounds attractive to our culture.

The scripture above lays out an awkward reality. It’s one of those passages that makes you squirm a little bit, if you are human. It’s one that makes us painfully aware that but for the grace of God we would all go to hell. The words are hard to digest because let’s face it, most of us have become tired of a relationship or two and have said, ‘that’s it’. Enough. Done with that.

According to this scripture, love is not a choice. These verses, from the way they are interpreted from the original text, state that God doesn’t just do things that are loving—He doesn’t just act out love. He IS love.

That makes a strong statement about whether we can choose to love, or not–if we say we are His, filled with Him, or if we claim we are living for Him.

How can we begin to love like He does? How can we love people who are unlovable in our mind–people who have failed us over and over? And, even when we try hard to show what love we have, how can we keep from sometimes missing the mark—or having our good intentions misinterpreted?

The choice we have to make then, is not whether we are going to love—but whether we are really His. If we are His, then we need to plead for His mercy and forgiveness for the times we have failed and ask Him to help us be so filled with Him that we would truly be transformed by the power of His love.

Declaration: My ability to love is being transformed by the power of God and His love living in me. I’m finding new strength.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Expectations

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Live and let live

Focus: Expectations

Luke 10:38-42 (NKJV) Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”  And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Most interpretations of this scripture deal with the opposing concepts of devotion and service. Many sermons have been delivered about the fact that Mary was at Jesus’ feet listening to what He had to say–while Martha was all caught up in her work.

I would like to take a little time to look at another message we can draw from this important scripture. It is an accepted fact that we should not be so consumed with service for the Lord that we don’t spend time listening for His voice. What I want to look at in this story is something a little bit more subtle; something I have never heard addressed from any pulpit. What I want to look at is the element in the story that involves ‘expectations’.

In this life it is so easy to get caught up in someone else’s vision because we want their approval. In many ministries, there is the expectation that you must get in there and serve, if you love the Lord. People who are seen doing a lot of outward service are elevated and others who aren’t, can’t, or have chosen not to–might begin to feel that they must not be doing enough…or that they’re not as spiritual.

(Read more below)

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

It is interesting that this story involves two sisters. It could have been just ‘two women’. But God’s choice was that the story be about two sisters. The picture is painted of a behavior pattern that occurs a lot in families, but not only in families. The behavior pattern is the natural tendency of one person being made to feel like an outcast because they haven’t worked as hard as another–or because they chose to follow a calling that was not like the rest of the family.

The thing we have to remember in this life is that God made us all different. If He had wanted us to all be exactly alike, He could have easily created clones instead of human beings. As the infinitely creative one, He gave each of us a unique identity and a beautiful, one of a kind mind—like no one else’s. Some people want to make everyone else do things their way and if they don’t—well, they just don’t fit in…or maybe they are even excluded.

If you are trying to recover from depression or dependency, chances are–you have been buried by the guilt of not living up to other people’s expectations—or you are dealing with the disappointing reality that other people have not lived up to yours.

If you don’t learn your own calling and begin to operate comfortably in it—you will go through life constantly trying to live up to other people’s expectations or feeling like a failure because you haven’t been able to do what someone else thinks you should. God has something special and unique for you—and you don’t have to be ashamed of that. If He hasn’t revealed what it is yet, you don’t have to be ashamed of that either. Don’t be tempted to become absorbed in someone else’s identity—ask God to show you your own.

Declaration: I release my guilt of not living up to other people’s expectations and I choose to forgive, release, and bless those people who have not lived up to mine.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Seven keys to changing your condition of loneliness

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Topic: Loneliness
Focus: Seven keys to changing your condition of loneliness

Psalm 68:6 (NIV) God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Loneliness can be a prison of sorts…in the sense that you can be trapped in that condition. When you are lonely and you finally get around people or another person, you can literally drive them away if you are overly focused on your own problems. If someone starts listening to you, it’s easy to go on too long and into too much detail. The next thing you know—the person is backing away and finding reasons why they’ve “gotta go now”.

If you think about what makes you want to be around someone—it’s usually the fact that they have listened to you and made you feel they were truly interested in what you had to say.

The first key to changing your condition of loneliness, is to become genuinely interested in others, ask sincere questions, and listen to their answers—without interrupting or offering your own opinion. This is a big challenge, since we all want to talk about what interests us…the big “I”.

The next key to changing your condition of loneliness is cutting off relationships that are destructive and have had a pattern of hurting you. I’m not advising you to get a divorce—that is between you and God. But, if you are involved with people who have driven you to depression and/or addiction, then you need to let go of the ones who keep pushing you to those areas and look for positive, nurturing relationships.

(Read more below)

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day
The third thing you need to do is stop listening to, watching, and reading things that bring you down. You know what they are…

Fourth, try to find something to like about yourself. It isn’t easy to be around someone who is in a “self-destruct” mode and full of self-hatred. If you want to have friends, you need to be nice. God made you and there has to be something about yourself that you can appreciate.  Ask God to show you the good things He sees in you, if you can’t think of anything on your own.

Fifth, delight yourself in the Lord. People who spend time in the presence of the Lord are promised joy. If there is no joy in your life, you must be spending more time concentrating on yourself than on the one who made you in His own likeness. Invest some time everyday into thinking about His power and majesty and thanking Him for anything and everything you can.

The sixth thing is: Get out of the house and go help someone who is worse off than you are. It is a hard step to take, but if you ask God to show you who you could help–He will give you a purpose and it will help you get your mind off your own troubles.

The seventh suggestion I will give you is to pray for others. There is a story in the Bible about a prosperous man named ‘Job’. He lost all of his children and developed severe physical problems. His own wife told him to curse God and die. Even his friends were critical of him and suggested that he was being punished somehow. Job was broken-hearted and wanted his life to be over. But, when he started praying for his friends—those who had offended him—God turned things around and gave him a whole new family, restored health, and more prosperity than ever.

Declaration: God is setting me free from the prison of loneliness to be a happy member of His family. He is giving me new strength each day.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Becoming free from generational curses by choosing obedience to God’s ways

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Topic: Fear

Focus: Becoming free from generational curses by choosing obedience to God’s ways

Psalm 46:1-2 (NKJV) God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea…

In the time of Moses, there was a family of people by the name of Korah. During the long and tedious period of wandering in the wilderness on the journey to the promised land, this family got tired of submitting to Moses. Thinking they could do a better job of leading God’s people than Moses was doing, they decided to rebel.

God was so unhappy with the Korah family’s behavior that He caused the earth to open and swallow them. Apparently some of the family survived, because generations later, we see that descendants of Korah became worship leaders in Israel.

The past history of the Korah family was a constant reminder of why they should live in obedience to God and honor His choice of leadership. They had learned valuable lessons from the mistakes of their family and made the decision not to continue in the disobedient ways of their ancestors.

Instead, they embraced the benefits of Godly living. They came to understand that obedience to God meant being entitled to having Him as their refuge and strength. It also gave them the privilege of experiencing the presence of God in worship and His help in times of trouble.

(Read more below)

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

The descendants of Korah who were faithful to God became examples of God’s willingness to show mercy and restoration. Because they chose to turn from the wrong ways of the past–and live in accordance with God’s right ways, the later generation of the Korah family was elevated to a position of honor. They chose to make the declaration no matter what happened–they would continue to choose God and not fear for their future. Their words were recorded in the Bible and are remembered to this day. In fact, they were the very ones who authored Psalm 46:1-2, which was, and is, a song.

When you make the choice to rebel and decide to take another path–you put yourself at risk. You can no longer claim the promise of protection and strength God desires to give you. As a result, you now have to live in your own power–which in the history of the human race has never been enough. Every civilization that has turned their hearts against the one true God has eventually failed.

The pattern of depression and addiction is sometimes passed down through generations. It is a known fact that many who suffer from depression and addiction are also tormented by fear. Making a conscious choice to live in faithful obedience–and not live in fear, is a critical factor in the recovery process. Verbalizing that decision as an act of faith breaks the power of rebellion and fear as a stronghold.

To face a future filled with blessing and the absence of fear, make the decision today to declare God alone, as your refuge and strength–so that in the time of trouble and testing, you will not have to be afraid.

Declaration: I will find new strength in knowing I don’t have to be afraid, because God is my refuge and strength.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Choosing thankfulness and joy

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Topic: Joy

Focus: Choosing thankfulness and joy

Psalm 69:29-33 NIV)

But as for me, afflicted and in pain—may your salvation, God, protect me. I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. This will please the LORD more than an ox, more than a bull with its horns and hooves. The poor will see and be glad—you who seek God, may your hearts live!
 The LORD hears the needy and does not despise his captive people.

What you have is affliction and pain. What you desperately need is joy. But, how can there be joy when all around you is such a wasteland? Remember, God made man and woman out of the dust of the ground. He didn’t need anything more than common dirt to create human life. If it seems there is nothing left to work with—that’s okay, because it’s not about your ability or resources. It’s about God…and He has it all.

When you are afflicted and in pain—everything is upside down. So, to figure out how to focus on thankfulness and joy—try looking at the opposite, which could possibly be resentment and sorrow. Resentment has a twin named defensive. Although they’re not identical, they go hand in hand. They are very closely related to affliction, which almost always produces sorrow.

If you had an agonizing open wound and some well-meaning person—even a doctor–tried to touch it, it would be natural for you to resist and resent any probing to that painful area. As hard as it is to submit yourself to the healer’s hands—it is, after all, the path to wholeness. Once we show him where it hurts and let him touch it—he begins the work of transformation.

A lot of Bible scripture is like “code”. If you aren’t looking for hidden meaning and deep truth, it’s easy to read right over an answer you’d really like to find—that missing link, or the important clue that leads to lost treasure.

(Read more below)

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

Let’s look at the verses above again. When you read them this time, try looking for three things: a problem, a goal, and a solution. The problem is pretty obvious: affliction and pain. The goal: salvation, protection, gladness, and life. The solution: choosing thankfulness and sacrificially praising God with a song, which amazingly produces a wall of protection and joy. Choosing thankfulness and the song of praise would be the same as selecting a golden key that unlocks a treasure box.

I recall times of depression in my own life that were so extreme, I was unable to sing. At those times I practically lived with earphones piping Christian music into my brain. To me, it was as important as being hooked up to an IV. I needed intensive care against negative, suicidal thoughts. The music and the message it brought, became literal salvation and protection. It eventually helped lead me to gladness and new life.

If you aren’t able to sing at this point, find a way to plug yourself into some positive Christian music that will begin to bring healing to your wounded heart. The good news is that God doesn’t despise the one who has been a captive to depression or addiction. If that is the only thing you can find to thank Him for, start there. He holds the golden key. He is offering it to you…reach out and take it.

Declaration: I am thankful that God has not abandoned me. I will find ways to offer him a joyful song–whether it is by singing or listening to good Christian music.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.