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Christina Cook Lee

Media Producer - Author - Blogger - Songwriter

loneliness

Seven keys to changing your condition of loneliness

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Topic: Loneliness
Focus: Seven keys to changing your condition of loneliness

Psalm 68:6 (NIV) God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Loneliness can be a prison of sorts…in the sense that you can be trapped in that condition. When you are lonely and you finally get around people or another person, you can literally drive them away if you are overly focused on your own problems. If someone starts listening to you, it’s easy to go on too long and into too much detail. The next thing you know—the person is backing away and finding reasons why they’ve “gotta go now”.

If you think about what makes you want to be around someone—it’s usually the fact that they have listened to you and made you feel they were truly interested in what you had to say.

The first key to changing your condition of loneliness, is to become genuinely interested in others, ask sincere questions, and listen to their answers—without interrupting or offering your own opinion. This is a big challenge, since we all want to talk about what interests us…the big “I”.

The next key to changing your condition of loneliness is cutting off relationships that are destructive and have had a pattern of hurting you. I’m not advising you to get a divorce—that is between you and God. But, if you are involved with people who have driven you to depression and/or addiction, then you need to let go of the ones who keep pushing you to those areas and look for positive, nurturing relationships.

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The third thing you need to do is stop listening to, watching, and reading things that bring you down. You know what they are…

Fourth, try to find something to like about yourself. It isn’t easy to be around someone who is in a “self-destruct” mode and full of self-hatred. If you want to have friends, you need to be nice. God made you and there has to be something about yourself that you can appreciate.  Ask God to show you the good things He sees in you, if you can’t think of anything on your own.

Fifth, delight yourself in the Lord. People who spend time in the presence of the Lord are promised joy. If there is no joy in your life, you must be spending more time concentrating on yourself than on the one who made you in His own likeness. Invest some time everyday into thinking about His power and majesty and thanking Him for anything and everything you can.

The sixth thing is: Get out of the house and go help someone who is worse off than you are. It is a hard step to take, but if you ask God to show you who you could help–He will give you a purpose and it will help you get your mind off your own troubles.

The seventh suggestion I will give you is to pray for others. There is a story in the Bible about a prosperous man named ‘Job’. He lost all of his children and developed severe physical problems. His own wife told him to curse God and die. Even his friends were critical of him and suggested that he was being punished somehow. Job was broken-hearted and wanted his life to be over. But, when he started praying for his friends—those who had offended him—God turned things around and gave him a whole new family, restored health, and more prosperity than ever.

Declaration: God is setting me free from the prison of loneliness to be a happy member of His family. He is giving me new strength each day.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Too empty—or too full?

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Topic: Loneliness

Focus: Too empty—or too full?

Revelation 3:20-21 (NKJV) Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To Him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.

God forbid that we should be so full of ourselves and people and possessions that we would have no cavity left for Him to fill. Could we possibly stand to be emptier? Is the problem not so much that we are not empty, as that we are filled with the wrong things?

We keep taking in, taking in, taking in—without letting go of enough.

We’ve all known someone who is a collector—of everything. They have very little power over their desire to acquire. Whenever they see something they like, they feel compelled to take it home and let it live with them. It doesn’t matter that the object has no use and doesn’t match anything else they own, they just ‘like it’ and ‘have to have it’.

Some people are obsessively neat and tidy about their excessive inventory—other people just stuff things into corners and cubbyholes. They might have a vague idea that they really don’t need anything and that their ‘space’ is pretty filled up, but somehow, that doesn’t stop them from bringing more and more stuff into the mix.

I thought I’d do a little research about people who hoard, to see if I could get more insight about the ‘whys and wherefores’ of hoarding. I was stunned to see the houses of a couple of different people who are compulsive hoarders. These people gave up trying to manage their stuff a long time ago.

There was a man who had to literally crawl from room to room in his house because the things he had accumulated only left three or four feet of ‘air space’ below the ceiling. In other words, he was climbing over a pile of stuff that was four or five feet deep.

What causes people to feel like ‘getting more stuff’ is a good idea, when they are unable to see the floor anymore and the stuff has covered all of their furnishings so that they have nowhere to sit or eat or sleep? What makes a person fill their house to the point where they would be ashamed to invite anyone to come inside?

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Imagine the loneliness of living a life like that. True hoarders rarely let people into their homes. They have a tendency to hide their habit. They know they have too much stuff, but instead of getting rid of anything, they just keep bringing more things home.

So what about being an emotional hoarder? Is there such a thing? I think we’ve probably all known some of those, too. I’ll be honest enough to admit that years ago, I had to have ‘noise’ all of the time. I either had the radio or music or the TV going constantly. The space around me that was capable of being filled with sound, was stuffed!

I didn’t like it when everything was quiet. If it was quiet, then I would start thinking dark thoughts. I felt ‘safer’ when there was a talk show or music going in the background…something to listen to. When I was ‘listening’, I didn’t have to think as much—so I filled all of my time with noise.

Audio overload is a type of ‘hoarding’, if you think about it. I was filling myself as full as possible with things I thought were important to listen to…actually imagining in some far fetched fantasy that I might find myself in a conversation someday where this information would prove to be useful.

When the Savior of the world was ‘on His way’, there was no room at the inn where Mary and Joseph had stopped, hoping to stay for the night. Mary was in labor and must have been desperate for a quiet, private room where she could give birth.

The innkeeper met the couple at the door and offered the stable where he kept his animals, which they accepted. Scripture says there was no room for them. It’s also possible that the innkeeper observed Mary and knew she was going to have a baby before the night was over. He may have been worried that his other guests would be offended if Mary were to be noisy in the process of bringing forth her firstborn child.

What reasons do we give for not having more room for the King of kings?

Declaration: I will not give excuses as to why I am ‘too full’ of the wrong things. I will find new strength by becoming empty of the wrong things, so I can be filled with the right One.

The Sovereignty of God

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Focus: The Sovereignty of God

Isaiah 9:6-7a (NKJV) For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His Name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end…

1 Samuel 12:22 For the Lord will not forsake His people, for His great name’s sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you His people. (NKJV)

2 Chronicles 20:6b …In Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You? (NKJV)

Psalm 2:7-8 I will declare the decree: The Lord has said to Me, “You are My Son, Today I have begotten You. Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for Your possession.” (NKJV)

Psalm 72:11, 19 Yes, all kings shall fall down before Him; All nations shall serve Him. And blessed be His glorious name forever! And let the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen. (NKJV)

Psalm 75:7 But God is the Judge; He puts down one, and exalts another. (NKJV)

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Daniel 7:13-14 I was watching in the night visions, And behold, One like the Son of Man,
Coming with the clouds of heaven! He came to the Ancient of Days, And they brought Him near before Him. Then to Him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, That all peoples, nations, and languages should serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion,
Which shall not pass away, and His kingdom the one Which shall not be destroyed. (NKJV)

Micah 7:18-20 Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity And passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. You will give truth to Jacob and mercy to Abraham, Which You have sworn to our fathers From days of old. (NKJV)

Habakkuk 2:14 For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea. (NKJV)

Zechariah 2:10-11 “Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion! For behold, I am coming and I will dwell in your midst,” says the Lord. Many nations shall be joined to the Lord in that day, and they shall become My people. And I will dwell in your midst. Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent Me to you. (NKJV)

Zechariah 9:10b …And He will speak peace to the nations; His dominion shall be ‘from sea to sea, and from the river to the ends of the earth.’ (NKJV)

Malachi 1:11 “For from the rising of the sun, even to its going down, My name shall be great among the Gentiles; In every place incense shall be offered to My name, And a pure offering;
For My name shall be great among the nations,”
Says the Lord of hosts. (NKJV)

Matthew 10:29-30 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (NIV)

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light… (NKJV)

1 Peter 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you… (NKJV)

Revelation 15:3-4 Great and marvelous are Thy works, Lord God Almighty! Just and true are Thy ways, Thou King of saints! Who shall not fear Thee, O Lord, and glorify Thy name? For Thou only art holy. For all nations shall come and worship before Thee, for Thy judgments are made manifest. (NKJV)

Revelation 22:13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last. (NKJV)

Declaration: I will find new strength in knowing that the Word of the Lord will accomplish whatever He wants to achieve and whatever He sends it to do. It will not return to Him void.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Not holding back

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Topic: Loneliness

Focus: Not holding back

Ephesians 3:14-19 (NKJV) For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

If strength is what you lack, there is hope for you today. If you are lonely, you don’t have to stay that way. There really is a way out of the trap you’re in…whatever it is. That thing you haven’t found that you’ve been searching for so long…well, He’s right there in the room with you now. You don’t have to go looking and wondering when you’ll find what’s been missing—you’re the one who’s been missing. It’s not something outside of you that has made you feel incomplete—it’s the vacancy that hasn’t been filled in you.

So what if you said to God, “Give me all You’ve got”…and really meant it? What do you think you’d get? Do you think all of God is enough to fix your problem? I’m pretty sure that getting all of God would change everything about what you think is wrong with the way things have been lately. You really don’t need anything more than more of God.

Oh, but don’t we hold back from giving Him full reign in us? Don’t we want to keep a safe amount of ‘self’, so that we can still think, and feel, and do the favorite things we’ve learned to love? Don’t we want to protect our own interest?

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There is actually no reason to have any reservations about the possible repercussions. Just break loose of all that bondage in your mind. Freedom and independence in the way we know them, are really the worst kinds of slavery. Anything that encourages self-sufficiency is far from what brings true peace and security.

Real life is being free in another sense. Free to lose yourself in Christ and in the knowledge that HE is the one you have missed. He alone can satisfy the longings of your soul. Life is lonely for anyone until that realization is made. Nothing else will completely fill the void.

You can make the invitation. You can say, “Give it to me, God—I want all You’ve got,” if you’re ready for a real relationship with Him. Something much more than the superficial way you’ve known Him in the past. You might be a little offended at the idea that you haven’t already had as much of Him as you could get. We want to think we’ve been right and that the spiritual side of us is ‘intact’. It’s embarrassing to think that you might not have already ‘had it right’ before now.

Well, maybe you did say something like ‘Give me all You’ve got’ to God at another time in your life, and you’ve always looked back at that moment as though it was the apex, and the Light of His brightness would never shine quite that much again. But, He is so limitless. He knows no bounds. What He was to you then—is nothing compared to what He could be to you now. There is more of you to fill now than there was at that time…and ‘being filled by Him’ is not a one time occurrence. It’s something that goes on and on and on and on and on….or at least it should.

It’s not as though He’s not willing. The brightness of the Lord is like a Light that keeps getting ever brighter and never stops. You can’t wear Him out or use Him up. No matter how much He gives you of Himself today—there will be more for you tomorrow. It’s not a matter of how much He has to give—it’s how willing we are to receive. How much are you able to receive? How big of a hole is in your heart right now? Can you give Him that much space?

One key to releasing the flow of God’s love into you is by telling Him, “Thank You”. If all you feel is brokenness, then thank Him for your brokenness. If you are feeling numb—thank Him for your numbness. All you have to do is start thanking Him for basic things. You have air to breathe—thank Him for that. You have food and water—thank Him for that, too. You’re reading this—thank Him for leading you to these words that are challenging you to build a better relationship with your Heavenly Father, His Son, and the Holy Spirit—by letting the Presence of God, the three in one, into your heart and soul. Keep giving thanks for everything you can possibly think of. Don’t just thank Him for the ‘good stuff’…praise Him for the things that brought you to your knees. Thank Him for the pain and suffering—the loss and loneliness—that has driven you closer to Him.

Begin to live in that kind of atmosphere and you will feel like you crossed over into another universe…His. He’s there for you every minute of the day or night and His love for you is unstoppable and undeniable.

Declaration: I will find new strength by opening my heart and soul to take in more and more of God each day.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

The blessing of having the Lord in your life

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Topic: Loneliness

Focus: The blessing of having the Lord in your life

Romans 5:8-9 (NKJV) But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.

If you know the Lord and you think you have it bad…try to imagine what your life would be like right now…without Him. Often we don’t fully appreciate His power in trying circumstances until much later, when we look back and realize how He truly carried us through a time that otherwise would have been unbearable.

I remember when our country went to war with Iraq in 1990. During operation ‘Desert Storm’ in 1991, there was a huge response of patriotism and prayer by the American people. Everywhere you turned you’d see signs that said, ‘Pray For Our Troops”. Even newscasters would encourage viewers to pray for the safety of those in active duty.

When the World Trade Center was attacked in 2001, there were many appeals to pray for those who were missing and for the families of those who had lost loved ones. Members of the clergy rushed to the scene and were welcomed to aid those who were involved in disaster relief. Prayer was highly desirable and openly requested.

When an earthquake or a devastating hurricane strikes, many people turn to God.

It’s sad how it takes times of intense conflict for people to fall on their knees—but another thing to think about is the people who don’t believe in God, Jesus, or prayer. How do they make it through devastating times of crisis? What would life be like right now for you without your faith?

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Faith in God gives us a reason to believe in a better future—but faith also gives us the courage we need to face discomfort, financial stress, loss of a loved one, health problems, devastation, rejection, loneliness, and times when we may be struggling to understand the meaning of life.

When you know the Lord, there is never a moment when you can’t tell Him how you feel. He is always there for you. He loves you with an everlasting love that is deeper than the love of any human being. He designed you with a need for Him, that only He can fill.

When people go through life refusing to acknowledge the position the Lord should have in their heart—they are never fully satisfied. They go from one relationship to another, thinking they must be missing something they have yet to find in a person.

Many married people grow to resent their mate because their needs aren’t being met—when truly, no person will ever meet all of our needs. Thinking that your spouse is going to completely be the answer to all the cries of your heart, is putting way too much pressure on them. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce today.

When two individuals are firmly grounded in their relationship with the Lord—apart from each other—their relationship is much more stable. They aren’t expecting unrealistic things from their mate. Their fulfillment is in the Lord. They are completely satisfied in Him—so why would their relationship with each other ever be in crisis?

A person who is alone and not happy about it should seek the Lord all the more for a closer relationship with Him. It’s not reasonable to think that once you find a person who makes you happy, that your relationship with the Lord will suddenly bloom. Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and then your other needs will be met.

So many people only turn to the Lord for their needs. When they are in trouble of some kind—they are praying night and day—but then when things start to straighten out a little bit, they forget about God until the next time they have a problem. What a loss.

I’ve never known a time when my Jesus ever failed me—or a moment when I needed Him and He just wasn’t there. I’ve never had a heartache and had to bear it all alone because my Jesus didn’t understand despair. Never in my time of sorrow, have I had to face tomorrow, knowing no one who could comfort me or care. No, I’ve never suffered trials by myself because my Savior wouldn’t share. I am so thankful that through the good and bad times of my life—God is with me and He is all I need.

Declaration: I will find new strength by cultivating quality time with the Lord. Everything in my life will improve when I give Him His proper place of priority and concentrate on the blessing and privilege it is to know Him and have Him in my life.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.
For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Crankiness

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Topic: Bitterness

Focus: Crankiness

Proverbs 5:21-23 (NKJV) For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths. His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the cords of his sin. He shall die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

Some of our defects are easy to own up to and others aren’t. A behavior habit that can be identified with depression and dependency is ‘crankiness’. It can be the outward manifestation of bitterness.

Crankiness can be a defense mechanism, when it is put to good use by a person who wants to be left alone. People don’t normally want to be around someone who is cranky, so a person who is cranky, is often left alone. Whether the cranky person wants to be left alone, or not—cranky people often get just what they want, in one way or another.

However, Crankiness is sometimes a paradox. A person might be cranky because they are lonely—yet they are often lonely because they are cranky.

Not everyone who is cranky wants to be alone…and not all people are turned off by crankiness. Some cranky people actually use this behavior to get attention. In a relationship where there is a ‘giver’ and a ‘taker’, the ‘taker’ will sometimes use crankiness to get ‘giver’ to do something for them.

‘Giver’ lives to be needed and often thrives on the crankiness of ‘taker’. ‘Giver’ tries to fix ‘taker’ by jumping to attention whenever ‘taker’ barks or whines. ‘Giver’ means well, but at the end of the day, all that is accomplished by ‘giver’s’ responses—is enablement. ‘Taker’ isn’t fixed by ‘giver’s’ goodness.

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

If you have a tendency toward crankiness, you might want to take some time to step back and have a look at what crankiness has accomplished in your life. It might be a habit that you didn’t necessarily set out to develop. Maybe it occurred over a period of time and you’ve never really given it much thought. Maybe you don’t even see yourself as a cranky person.

An important thing to consider is, how often would you say you are cranky? Is it every morning? Is it every night? Are you sometimes cranky throughout the day, as well? What reasons do you give for being cranky? Is it other people’s fault? Is it that you didn’t sleep well? Is it that you haven’t had your coffee? Does there have to be a reason—or is crankiness just a habit that people associate with you as one of your personality traits?

Maybe you’re not cranky at all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the potential. Self-examination is never a bad thing, if it leads to self-improvement…or, if it prevents a behavior problem from developing.

In your recovery journey, you might have already made steps to get rid of a problem with bitterness, but possibly some of the spin-offs that were related to bitterness were not actually recognized as part of it. Crankiness may have come about in your life as a way of coping during the time when you had reasons to be bitter.

After you have acknowledged bitterness as a sin and repented of it, you still have to guard against it coming back. You also have to search for the ways it has affected your behavior…and work to improve them.

God knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts. He can help us gain understanding of our faults and give us the help we need to conquer any kind of defect in our character. As always, the way to change—starts with repentance and admitting that crankiness is a sin.

The Bible tells us to do unto others as we would like to have them do for us. I’m sure none of us would like to be treated with crankiness. Dealing with another person’s crankiness is never pleasant. Everyone would rather be treated with kindness and dignity instead. For a full recovery, crankiness has to go.

Left unattended—or allowed to continue, crankiness can become a roadblock in a person’s progress. There is never a good reason to make other people feel miserable—or make them feel they are the cause of a problem that is really our own. Crankiness is manipulation, and doesn’t belong in the life of someone who was created in the image of God.

Declaration: I will find new strength by continuing to examine myself for character defects as I move forward in my recovery journey. I will guard myself from cranky behavior. If I have behaved in a cranky manner to anyone, I will ask their forgiveness and promise not to be cranky to them any more.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.