Topic: Pain
Focus: God would do anything to rescue me
Isaiah 53:5-6 (NKJV) But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
When I was a little girl, I remember hiding in the bottom of my closet when I knew my dad was angry. In the days before my dad gave his heart to the Lord, we all walked a tightrope. Sometimes it didn’t matter to him who was at fault, or if anyone was at fault–he inflicted emotional and physical pain anyway.
After the collapse of my first marriage I wanted to hide again. I moved from the mid-west to New York State. When my second marriage failed, I went to hide in California. “All we like sheep have gone astray.” I can really relate to that. I went astray alright–and where I went, I took a boatload of guilt with me…and many unsolved mysteries as to “why.”
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All my life, I could see no value in the rejection and bruises I had endured…until today, when God lifted the veil that had clouded my ability to understand. All of my wondering about “why” God would allow all of that to happen–was settled.
Even though I was saved at a young age, it took me until now to learn that when I was being abused–so was Jesus. He wasn’t standing back watching me suffer–He was suffering with me and for me.
I have committed not to speak in lengthy detail of the struggles I experienced in my unsuccessful marriages. I will only say that in my second marriage, I ran for safety at times. When I tried to hide at home—almost every door in the house was kicked open. There were impossible rules that constantly changed. I could never do everything right and there were strong consequences when I failed. To say that I had “fear issues” would be an understatement.
Yet, the physical and emotional wounds of my lifetime don’t begin to compare with the description of what Jesus Christ bore on my behalf. He was beaten, stripped, and put to death by crucifixion–not so I would feel guilty–but, so that I would know how much He loved me and to what extent He was willing to go to rescue my soul from sin and death.
Not only my guilt, but the memories of my failures, and pain were nailed to His cross. Remembering the past will never change it…but, knowing that “the chastisement of my peace” was one of the things He purchased–can change my future.
Everything Jesus went through was for my peace and yours. To say that we still have to carry that awful load–is like saying He didn’t suffer enough. He DID.
Declaration: I accept the suffering Jesus endured on my behalf as proof of His love for me. I believe the sacrifice of His life was enough to cover all of my failure and guilt. I receive the peace He purchased and will not wonder “why”, anymore.
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All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.
