Focus: Some affects of loss, disappointment, and disillusionment
James 3:5 (NKJV) Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!
Some of the core causes of depression and dependency are loss, disappointment, and disillusionment with reality. The behavior that results from loss and being disappointed and disillusioned can cover a broad area. Practically everything in a person’s life is affected in a time of deep emotional pain. If a person is not just having a bad day, but is in a prolonged period of emotional struggle, it’s usually apparent to the people around them by the way their behavior is affected.
When life has spun out of control, it can seem like nothing is going to ever be right again to the person who is in a pit of despair. It can seem like the whole world is out to get them. It can feel like everything they try to do either backfires or falls apart. As real as all of these things can seem, in a nutshell—when a person is in extreme emotional pain—everything is distorted.
Because of the distorted perspective people have in this kind of condition, they may unknowingly fall into a trap of stretching the truth or exaggerating. The things they are feeling or believing, and what they say, may seem like complete truth to them. They might not even realize that they are enlarging or overemphasizing their situation. Let’s face it, in a place of vulnerability and insecurity, it’s hard to have to face the truth.
Many people who experience real loss, disappointment, or disillusionment have a hard time adjusting to the harsh reality that has been thrust on them without their consent. Unfortunately, they may withdraw from things they would normally be comfortable with, finding it easier to isolate, rather than having to make conversation or live up to other people’s expectations. These people often suffer silently and sometimes alone. When they are forced to be around people, they might insist they are fine—when they are not. They don’t see their behavior as an exaggerated—but it is.
Others react to loss or disappointment in just the opposite way—thriving on the attention they may receive from people who are sympathetic to their situation. The consideration they find can sometimes cause them to want to prolong their condition or exaggerate it, so they don’t have to face what they are going through, alone.
Some people have the ability to work through their pain and neither isolate or thrive on attention—recognizing that loss, disappointment, and disillusionment are part of life for everyone, sooner or later. After the initial impact, they begin to gradually move forward by choosing to face their situation with courage. They decide to allow what they have suffered to deepen their character in a positive way, and find balance in their new circumstances.
Loss, disillusionment, and disappointment can cause lasting change in anyone’s life. Going through these kind of trials can sometimes affect a person’s behavior for the rest of their life—in negative ways, or positive.
If you are in a season of loss, disillusionment, and disappointment—how has it affected you? Are you able to look at your circumstances and relationships from an honest perspective, and evaluate what changes have occurred? Are you capable of assessing what your reaction has been from the examples stated above?
In recovery, it’s important to continue to make a searching and honest moral inventory of ourselves. Severe emotional pain can make us not want to face some important things…especially when we aren’t able to imagine how life will ever improve.
What we have to remember, is that our God is a healer. He wants us to be healthy and whole in every area of our lives. He doesn’t want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse—He wants them to change us for the better. The Holy Spirit stands ready, willing, and able to bring comfort and peace—no matter what we have suffered. The power of God is sufficient and able to mend all of the broken places and become strength for us—in the areas where we are lacking. He can help us find new vision and hope. He is wiling to help us create balance and freedom where there has been distortion and exaggeration.
Maybe your pain has caused you to react in all of the ways mentioned above—that can happen, too. Recovery is a process and most of the time people experience a variety of reactions at different points of their journey. The adjustments can take time, but it’s important to stay honest with your feelings and allow the power of God to help you through your pain.
Declaration: I will find new strength by striving for honesty in my response to what I am going through. I will work toward balance and healing in my emotional health, as opposed to resorting to extreme or distorted behavior.
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