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Christina Cook Lee

Media Producer - Author - Blogger - Songwriter

emotional

Pain

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Focus: Finding purpose in pain

Romans 8:37 (NKJV) Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

I experienced a lot of pain during the recovery of a traumatic head injury in a car accident that happened when I was 21. I felt robbed in many ways—due to the facial disfigurement that resulted. Today, not many people would ever guess my nose was totally smashed and my cheekbones were covered with fractures. Reconstructive plastic surgery gave me a new, smaller nose.

In most people’s minds, I had nothing to complain about. Surely, other people have had much harder things to bear—and that’s true. I don’t have a debilitating handicap like some people, but I’ll never forget the stares from people during the period of time it took for the jagged scars on my nose to heal and for the swelling and bruises on my face to go away.

(read more below)

Now, you can listen and/or read!

October 13
Link to New Strength Devotional, Audio Version
Screen Shot 2015-10-12 at 9.59.42 AM
New Strength Devotional Inspirational Statement of the Day

 

During the year following the accident, my sinuses progressively shut down, because my fractured cheekbones were over-calcifying in an attempt to heal. More surgery had to be done to open my airways so I could breathe normally again. It took a long time for me to accept my appearance…and it was hard dealing with people who said I didn’t look that bad. To me, it wasn’t a question of ‘looking good or bad’—it was my own loss of identity that I was dealing with.

Close to a year after the accident, I had the opportunity to go to a foreign country and spend a little time with a man who was clearly poverty stricken. He wore a soiled patch of cloth tied around his head to cover the fact that he had no nose at all. I was sure that God had arranged our meeting. It was completely obvious that he had it so much worse than I did.

From that time on, I tried to accept what had happened to me and be grateful in spite of everything. Up until then, all I could see was what I had lost—instead of what I still had left.

I have to admire our many veterans who went off to war and have come home forever changed, whether their injuries are visible or invisible. I can’t help but look at any soldier who has seen active duty and not wonder what trauma he or she is working through. Just because you can’t see any physical change in them, doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering emotionally because of what they may have witnessed.

Just because an injury can’t be seen—or isn’t as bad as it ‘could have been’—doesn’t mean it wasn’t and isn’t catastrophic to the individual. Any injury is serious to the person who receives it. Post-traumatic stress syndrome and panic attacks are common and potentially devastating to people who have experienced a violent physical injury—and also to those who have been forced to live in highly dangerous circumstances and observe others being wounded or killed.

It’s hard to understand why we have to go through some of the things we do in life. It might be harder still, to believe that a loving God would allow anybody to live through some of the things our veterans have. I don’t have all the answers—but I know that God can help any person to find peace.

If you’ve had some kind of traumatic experience—war or otherwise—you might still be trying to figure out how you’ll ever be able to live a normal life again. For many people, things will not return to ‘normal’ in comparison to the past…but life can go on, by drawing new strength from the power of God.

Jesus Christ, Who according to historical record, was tortured to the point of being unrecognizable as a man preceding His brutal crucifixion—is a model to any person who is struggling from the effects of disfigurement and trauma. His resurrection from the dead and His glorified body, can give us the hope that one day—we will be like Him.

Philippians 3:20-21 says, “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, Who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.”

There were times I wished I had died during the aftermath of my head injuries. It took a few years before I felt like living was actually a good idea. I know God had a purpose in letting me go through what I did. He has given me peace, and He can help you, too.

Declaration: I will find peace and purpose as I draw new strength from the power of God. His love and friendship will see me through my trials day by day…and someday I will understand.

If you subscribe to New Strength, a new segment will come to your email each day.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Honesty

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Focus: Some affects of loss, disappointment, and disillusionment

James 3:5 (NKJV) Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!

Some of the core causes of depression and dependency are loss, disappointment, and disillusionment with reality. The behavior that results from loss and being disappointed and disillusioned can cover a broad area. Practically everything in a person’s life is affected in a time of deep emotional pain. If a person is not just having a bad day, but is in a prolonged period of emotional struggle, it’s usually apparent to the people around them by the way their behavior is affected.

When life has spun out of control, it can seem like nothing is going to ever be right again to the person who is in a pit of despair. It can seem like the whole world is out to get them. It can feel like everything they try to do either backfires or falls apart. As real as all of these things can seem, in a nutshell—when a person is in extreme emotional pain—everything is distorted.

Because of the distorted perspective people have in this kind of condition, they may unknowingly fall into a trap of stretching the truth or exaggerating. The things they are feeling or believing, and what they say, may seem like complete truth to them. They might not even realize that they are enlarging or overemphasizing their situation. Let’s face it, in a place of vulnerability and insecurity, it’s hard to have to face the truth.

(read more below)

Now, you can listen and/or read!

God doesn't want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse, He wants them to change us for the better. --Christina Cook Lee, A Quest For New Strength
Link to New Strength Devotional, Audio Version.
God doesn’t want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse—He wants them to change us for the better.
New Strength Devotional Inspirational Statement of the Day

 

Many people who experience real loss, disappointment, or disillusionment have a hard time adjusting to the harsh reality that has been thrust on them without their consent. Unfortunately, they may withdraw from things they would normally be comfortable with, finding it easier to isolate, rather than having to make conversation or live up to other people’s expectations. These people often suffer silently and sometimes alone. When they are forced to be around people, they might insist they are fine—when they are not. They don’t see their behavior as an exaggerated—but it is.

Others react to loss or disappointment in just the opposite way—thriving on the attention they may receive from people who are sympathetic to their situation. The consideration they find can sometimes cause them to want to prolong their condition or exaggerate it, so they don’t have to face what they are going through, alone.

Some people have the ability to work through their pain and neither isolate nor thrive on attention—recognizing that loss, disappointment, and disillusionment are part of life for everyone, sooner or later. After the initial impact, they begin to gradually move forward by choosing to face their situation with courage. They decide to allow what they have suffered to deepen their character in a positive way, and find balance in their new circumstances.

Loss, disillusionment, and disappointment can cause lasting change in anyone’s life. Going through these kind of trials can sometimes affect a person’s behavior for the rest of their life—in negative ways, or positive.

If you are in a season of loss, disillusionment, and disappointment—how has it affected you? Are you able to look at your circumstances and relationships from an honest perspective, and evaluate what changes have occurred? Are you capable of assessing what your reaction has been from the examples stated above?

In recovery, it’s important to continue to make a searching and honest moral inventory of ourselves. Severe emotional pain can make us not want to face some important things…especially when we aren’t able to imagine how life will ever improve.

What we have to remember, is that our God is a healer. He wants us to be healthy and whole in every area of our lives. He doesn’t want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse—He wants them to change us for the better. The Holy Spirit stands ready, willing, and able to bring comfort and peace—no matter what we have suffered. The power of God is sufficient and able to mend all of the broken places and become strength for us—in the areas where we are lacking. He can help us find new vision and hope. He is wiling to help us create balance and freedom where there has been distortion and exaggeration.

Maybe your pain has caused you to react in all of the ways mentioned above—that can happen, too. Recovery is a process and most of the time people experience a variety of reactions at different points of their journey. The adjustments can take time, but it’s important to stay honest with your feelings and allow the power of God to help you through your pain.

Declaration: I will find new strength by striving for honesty in my response to what I am going through. I will work toward balance and healing in my emotional health, as opposed to resorting to extreme or distorted behavior.

If you subscribe to New Strength, a new segment will come to your email each day.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Honesty

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Now, you can listen and/or read!

God doesn't want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse, He wants them to change us for the better. --Christina Cook Lee, A Quest For New Strength
Link to New Strength Devotional, Audio Version.
God doesn’t want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse—He wants them to change us for the better.
New Strength Devotional Inspirational Statement of the Day

Focus: Some affects of loss, disappointment, and disillusionment

James 3:5 (NKJV) Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!

Some of the core causes of depression and dependency are loss, disappointment, and disillusionment with reality. The behavior that results from loss and being disappointed and disillusioned can cover a broad area. Practically everything in a person’s life is affected in a time of deep emotional pain. If a person is not just having a bad day, but is in a prolonged period of emotional struggle, it’s usually apparent to the people around them by the way their behavior is affected.

When life has spun out of control, it can seem like nothing is going to ever be right again to the person who is in a pit of despair. It can seem like the whole world is out to get them. It can feel like everything they try to do either backfires or falls apart. As real as all of these things can seem, in a nutshell—when a person is in extreme emotional pain—everything is distorted.

Because of the distorted perspective people have in this kind of condition, they may unknowingly fall into a trap of stretching the truth or exaggerating. The things they are feeling or believing, and what they say, may seem like complete truth to them. They might not even realize that they are enlarging or overemphasizing their situation. Let’s face it, in a place of vulnerability and insecurity, it’s hard to have to face the truth.

Many people who experience real loss, disappointment, or disillusionment have a hard time adjusting to the harsh reality that has been thrust on them without their consent. Unfortunately, they may withdraw from things they would normally be comfortable with, finding it easier to isolate, rather than having to make conversation or live up to other people’s expectations. These people often suffer silently and sometimes alone. When they are forced to be around people, they might insist they are fine—when they are not. They don’t see their behavior as an exaggerated—but it is.

Others react to loss or disappointment in just the opposite way—thriving on the attention they may receive from people who are sympathetic to their situation. The consideration they find can sometimes cause them to want to prolong their condition or exaggerate it, so they don’t have to face what they are going through, alone.

Some people have the ability to work through their pain and neither isolate nor thrive on attention—recognizing that loss, disappointment, and disillusionment are part of life for everyone, sooner or later. After the initial impact, they begin to gradually move forward by choosing to face their situation with courage. They decide to allow what they have suffered to deepen their character in a positive way, and find balance in their new circumstances.

Loss, disillusionment, and disappointment can cause lasting change in anyone’s life. Going through these kind of trials can sometimes affect a person’s behavior for the rest of their life—in negative ways, or positive.

If you are in a season of loss, disillusionment, and disappointment—how has it affected you? Are you able to look at your circumstances and relationships from an honest perspective, and evaluate what changes have occurred? Are you capable of assessing what your reaction has been from the examples stated above?

In recovery, it’s important to continue to make a searching and honest moral inventory of ourselves. Severe emotional pain can make us not want to face some important things…especially when we aren’t able to imagine how life will ever improve.

What we have to remember, is that our God is a healer. He wants us to be healthy and whole in every area of our lives. He doesn’t want the things that have happened to us to change us for the worse—He wants them to change us for the better. The Holy Spirit stands ready, willing, and able to bring comfort and peace—no matter what we have suffered. The power of God is sufficient and able to mend all of the broken places and become strength for us—in the areas where we are lacking. He can help us find new vision and hope. He is wiling to help us create balance and freedom where there has been distortion and exaggeration.

Maybe your pain has caused you to react in all of the ways mentioned above—that can happen, too. Recovery is a process and most of the time people experience a variety of reactions at different points of their journey. The adjustments can take time, but it’s important to stay honest with your feelings and allow the power of God to help you through your pain.

Declaration: I will find new strength by striving for honesty in my response to what I am going through. I will work toward balance and healing in my emotional health, as opposed to resorting to extreme or distorted behavior.

If you subscribe to New Strength, a new segment will come to your email each day.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

 

Anger

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New Strength, October 10OCTOBER 10

Focus: Anger that affects relationships with children 

Matthew 18:6-7 (NKJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

It’s always been hard for me to observe parents who are overly hard on their children. Often people who are depressed or dependent don’t have the patience they should have…and in some cases, they take their anger out on their children and even blame the children for their own problems.

We’ve all been in a grocery store and heard a child cry in a way that’s not normal. Of course there are children who cry because they’re tired, and children who scream when they can’t have something they want—but I’m talking about the child who is crying because of fear of physical pain or fear of an adult. It’s a different kind of cry. When I hear it, it makes my heart pound and I lose my train of thought. I have a hard time thinking of anything until it stops. My normal response is, “Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…please help that child…please God, please, please, please…” In those kind of situations, I can’t help but wonder what goes on at home—if that kind of thing happens in public.

Shame, shame, shame on people who use their physical and verbal strength to terrorize and break the hearts of little children. There are few things I know of that are worse than an adult taking their own anger out on a child.

Anger that affects relationships with children is an awkward topic, but one that desperately needs our attention.

When a person is absorbed in their own problems, the needs of their children can often go unattended. When children have lacked the attention they need, they will in turn—and out of desperation—display undesirable behavior. The behavior of the child becomes annoying to a parent who is already not in a good mood, and the next thing you know—a parent is screaming at or physically abusing a child for behavior that was caused by not them not being a good parent to begin with.

I don’t have facts to back up my theory, but I’m convinced that a large amount of child abuse results from a child’s reaction to the neglect they feel when they are not properly parented. The child acts out his or her frustration which, in turn gives the parent an excuse to act out their anger against the child. How very sad.

Broken and dysfunctional homes can make child rearing extra challenging. I didn’t have to experience the struggle of trying to raise my children alone, as many women do today—and I’m not saying that single moms or dads abuse their children any more than married moms or dads. Whether you’re married or not, there are many pressures that can affect a mother or father’s patience during the years their children are young.

Things can become even more complicated when a parent is trying to raise another person’s children as their own. When parents disagree about discipline, emotions can become extremely strained. Let’s face it—there aren’t easy answers to many of the circumstances children find themselves in today.

In the heat of trying times, some things to remember are: The children didn’t ask to be born; All children would prefer a happy home with both of their parents together—demonstrating love to each other and them; No matter how difficult a relationship is—there can be hope with God.

It’s always worth working on a marriage—if only for the sake of the children. An adult might think their own needs are more important than their children’s and that the children will adapt in time—or that their children would have a more stable life if the parents were to separate, but any child would prefer for his parents to work out their problems and be happy together, rather than apart. Children raised by one parent are more vulnerable to promiscuity, crime, and teenage pregnancy.

Prayer changes things. The impossible becomes possible with prayer. Seek Christian counseling. Children deserve to live with two parents who love them and each other. Children should never be made to feel they have been the cause of their parents problems, but most children are left believing they were the reason their parents broke up, when divorce happens.

Declaration: I will pray for children everywhere who are living in abusive conditions at this moment. I will ask God to give new strength to those who may have a situation on their hands that they believe is beyond hope. Nothing is impossible for those who believe.

http://youtu.be/M0mRHgbGDww

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2014, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse:http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

 

Finding the heart

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New Strength, August 23AUGUST 23

Focus: Not making excuses

James 4:17 (NKJV) Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

Knowing right from wrong should be obvious, right? But it’s not always. Sometimes we don’t want to make the effort to check out the facts to know whether a particular thing is okay. We go by our ‘gut’ and follow our feelings. Knowing to do right involves knowing the Word of God…or at least taking the time to search scripture and see what it has to say.

James 4:17 is a sobering verse—or at least it should be. There are different ways of looking at the meaning. In one way, it says, if a person knows what is right and doesn’t do it—the fact that they didn’t do what they knew was right makes it a sin. You may have heard of ‘a sin of omission’. It’s when somebody ‘omits’ doing something right—and that’s what this kind of interpretation refers to.

The other meaning is pretty obvious, too. ‘When you know something is wrong and you do it anyway, it is sin.’ This meaning is derived by inverting the principle. Either way you look at it, the knowledge of right or wrong is what we are concerned about.

A person with access to the Word of God can’t really claim ignorance in matters that pertain to right and wrong—and  sin. Someone who didn’t bother to seek for wisdom isn’t free from accountability to the Word. If you know the answers are available and you don’t search them out, you can’t say—‘Well, I didn’t know any better.’

It all goes back to James 4:17 again. If you are faced with making an important decision that could be right or wrong and you know the answers are in the Word, yet you don’t seek them and you decide to do the wrong thing and then claim ignorance—that doesn’t excuse the wrong.

The only thing that excuses our wrongs is the grace and mercy of God through the Blood of Jesus Christ.

When we try to defend ourselves from sin we committed before we knew the Lord ‘because of ignorance’, that is no excuse, either. The whole point of the matter is, we are without excuse. Sin is sin…and when we sin, we really ought to admit it and plead for grace and mercy through the Blood of Jesus and not make excuses about not realizing we did something wrong. That only compounds the issues.

Human nature wants to look right, sound right, feel right, and smell right. It’s hard to admit when we’re wrong. The difficulty of admitting when we’re wrong is the problem that stands in the way of millions of people being able to find the heart to start on the road to recovery.

Even after some of us started on the journey, we wanted to continue justifying our reasons for allowing our lives to go in the direction they did. It’s easy to blame others for our own choices. It makes us feel better when we think what we did wasn’t totally our own fault. But as long as we place the blame on anyone else but ourselves, we are not truly taking responsibility for our actions. In order for your recovery to ever work, you have to be willing to say that the choices you made were your own. Someone may have influenced you—but you agreed.

It’s not easy to admit anything was ‘all your fault.’ It seems much more honorable to think that ‘the devil made you do it’ or another person was the culprit. Sugar coating or glossing over your own guilt is sin, too. The only thing that saves us is admitting we were wrong and pleading the Blood of Jesus Christ.

We will not know true freedom from our sin until we are able to admit we were fully at fault—no matter how hard it may be. But finally reaching that point is a wonderful day of discovery. Coming to this inevitable conclusion is the beginning of all things in your search for real peace.

Romans 5:1-5 says, ‘Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through Whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit Who was given to us.

Declaration: I will find new strength by taking full responsibility for all of the wrongs I have committed in my life. I will not try to excuse myself or blame anyone else. I will search the scriptures for the truth in my particular situation and humbly claim the Blood of Jesus Christ as my only pardon.

http://youtu.be/W4wxxG_GRB0

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2014, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse:http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

 

Anger

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OCTOBER 10

Focus: Anger that affects relationships with children 

Matthew 18:6-7 (NKJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

It’s always been hard for me to observe parents who are overly hard on their children. Often people who are depressed or dependent don’t have the patience they should have…and in some cases, they take their anger out on their children and even blame the children for their own problems.

We’ve all been in a grocery store and heard a child cry in a way that’s not normal. Of course there are children who cry because they’re tired, and children who scream when they can’t have something they want—but I’m talking about the child who is crying because of fear of physical pain or fear of an adult. It’s a different kind of cry. When I hear it, it makes my heart pound and I lose my train of thought. I have a hard time thinking of anything until it stops. My normal response is, “Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…please help that child…please God, please, please, please…” In those kind of situations, I can’t help but wonder what goes on at home—if that kind of thing happens in public.

Shame, shame, shame on people who use their physical and verbal strength to terrorize and break the hearts of little children. There are few things I know of that are worse than an adult taking their own anger out on a child.

Anger that affects relationships with children is an awkward topic, but one that desperately needs our attention.

When a person is absorbed in their own problems, the needs of their children can often go unattended. When children have lacked the attention they need, they will in turn—and out of desperation—display undesirable behavior. The behavior of the child becomes annoying to a parent who is already not in a good mood, and the next thing you know—a parent is screaming at or physically abusing a child for behavior that was caused by not them not being a good parent to begin with.

I don’t have facts to back up my theory, but I’m convinced that a large amount of child abuse results from a child’s reaction to the neglect they feel when they are not properly parented. The child acts out his or her frustration which, in turn gives the parent an excuse to act out their anger against the child. How very sad.

Broken and dysfunctional homes can make child rearing extra challenging. I didn’t have to experience the struggle of trying to raise my children alone, as many women do today—and I’m not saying that single moms or dads abuse their children any more than married moms or dads. Whether you’re married or not, there are many pressures that can affect a mother or father’s patience during the years their children are young.

Things can become even more complicated when a parent is trying to raise another person’s children as their own. When parents disagree about discipline, emotions can become extremely strained. Let’s face it—there aren’t easy answers to many of the circumstances children find themselves in today.

In the heat of trying times, some things to remember are: The children didn’t ask to be born; All children would prefer a happy home with both of their parents together—demonstrating love to each other and them; No matter how difficult a relationship is—there can be hope with God.

It’s always worth working on a marriage—if only for the sake of the children. An adult might think their own needs are more important than their children’s and that the children will adapt in time—or that their children would have a more stable life if the parents were to separate, but any child would prefer for his parents to work out their problems and be happy together, rather than apart. Children raised by one parent are more vulnerable to promiscuity, crime, and teenage pregnancy.

Prayer changes things. The impossible becomes possible with prayer. Seek Christian counseling. Children deserve to live with two parents who love them and each other. Children should never be made to feel they have been the cause of their parents problems, but most children are left believing they were the reason their parents broke up, when divorce happens.

Declaration: I will pray for children everywhere who are living in abusive conditions at this moment. I will ask God to give new strength to those who may have a situation on their hands that they believe is beyond hope. Nothing is impossible for those who believe.

http://youtu.be/M0mRHgbGDww

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2013, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid