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Christina Cook Lee

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Loneliness

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Picture 121AUGUST 6

Focus: Lonely for God

Colossians 3:2 (NKJV) Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Truly following after God is a lonely occupation. If my heart was completely single for the Lord, I would find myself in a position of awkwardness in the presence of some people. Only the ones who are passionate for the Most High can genuinely and happily and humbly cry out, ‘Come, Lord Jesus’…while others hesitate or choke on the words…unsure of so many things, and always looking for an argument.

When I live in the presence of God, there is nothing to argue about. I know His will prevails. I love His will. So, why would I argue? What is there to argue about? Why would I say anything but, ‘Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done’ and certainly, ‘Come, Lord Jesus, Come’.

If my heart is lovesick for the Lord, I can’t do some things…but the things I can’t do are sweet and small sacrifices that I willingly make, knowing the pain it would cause Him to observe me acting out double-mindedness for the purpose of pleasing people who just don’t get it yet.

Philippians 3:7 says, But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.

The things I might have to count as loss in this life are nothing in the sight of God…nothing more than ashes. What thing do I own that would be worth any price compared to living in His presence? What selfish thing do I have to say that would be worth causing Him to want to back away? He is Holy and He just won’t stay where there is evil and wickedness.

All of the things He is—I am not, except for the mercy and grace poured out on me. The best thing I can do is cast myself at His feet. He says to ‘Come out from among them and be separate’. ‘Coming out from among them and being separate’ speaks of a kind of loneliness. Being in a place of quiet contemplation can require shutting things off or turning away from the noise…or people…in order to turn up the volume of His voice.

In His presence, I realize what a people pleaser I have tried to be…and for what? Friendship with the Lord means so much more than that. A wink or a nod from a person is nothing compared to His smile.

There will always be unanswered questions on earth…and times of silent wondering.

When I get closer to Him, I realize I can’t go by what I see. So many things are not what they appear to be. There is nothing I can say to change them, I just have to remember what He has said…and not listen to other voices that would contradict. Let them talk on.

The Lord still speaks and He has so much to say, when I am willing to ‘come away’. He waits for a chance to get a word in, because He is a gentleman…but I have to be willing to listen…and wait. He won’t compete with the crowds. He will delay until it is quiet enough for a whisper to be heard.

He waits for me to be willing to come away from the work and the toil of a busy day to have time to sit and to think and to read and to pray…alone. But sometimes I don’t…or sometimes I won’t. So, He just waits. Imagine that. The King of Glory waiting for my attention. How sad.

Having time to be in His presence is worth getting rid of whatever stands in the way of being able to do that. Simplicity is a better idea. Less. What is standing in His place? Let me think…

As I grow older and days go by…I realize that life is not a game. I’ve learned some lessons…I’ll learn some more. His will isn’t ‘doing what I want to’ in His Name. I want to be holy as He is Holy…not just imitating people who I see. And if I can learn to trust Him only…I know that I will learn to walk obediently.

Part of what I live for is to sort Him out and seek Him out…and there is a lot of sorting and seeking to do.

He is here and so am I.

Declaration: I will find new strength by separating myself unto the Lord. As I do, I will see things differently, which may in turn require some losses.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2014, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse:http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

 

 

 

Loneliness

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AUGUST 6

Focus: Lonely for God

Colossians 3:2 (NKJV) Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Truly following after God is a lonely occupation. If my heart was completely single for the Lord, I would find myself in a position of awkwardness in the presence of some people. Only the ones who are passionate for the Most High can genuinely and happily and humbly cry out, ‘Come, Lord Jesus’…while others hesitate or choke on the words…unsure of so many things, and always looking for an argument.

When I live in the presence of God, there is nothing to argue about. I know His will prevails. I love His will. So, why would I argue? What is there to argue about? Why would I say anything but, ‘Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done’ and certainly, ‘Come, Lord Jesus, Come’.

If my heart is lovesick for the Lord, I can’t do some things…but the things I can’t do are sweet and small sacrifices that I willingly make, knowing the pain it would cause Him to observe me acting out double-mindedness for the purpose of pleasing people who just don’t get it yet.

Philippians 3:7 says, But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.

The things I might have to count as loss in this life are nothing in the sight of God…nothing more than ashes. What thing do I own that would be worth any price compared to living in His presence? What selfish thing do I have to say that would be worth causing Him to want to back away? He is Holy and He just won’t stay where there is evil and wickedness.

All of the things He is—I am not, except for the mercy and grace poured out on me. The best thing I can do is cast myself at His feet. He says to ‘Come out from among them and be separate’. ‘Coming out from among them and being separate’ speaks of a kind of loneliness. Being in a place of quiet contemplation can require shutting things off or turning away from the noise…or people…in order to turn up the volume of His voice.

In His presence, I realize what a people pleaser I have tried to be…and for what? Friendship with the Lord means so much more than that. A wink or a nod from a person is nothing compared to His smile.

There will always be unanswered questions on earth…and times of silent wondering.

When I get closer to Him, I realize I can’t go by what I see. So many things are not what they appear to be. There is nothing I can say to change them, I just have to remember what He has said…and not listen to other voices that would contradict. Let them talk on.

The Lord still speaks and He has so much to say, when I am willing to ‘come away’. He waits for a chance to get a word in, because He is a gentleman…but I have to be willing to listen…and wait. He won’t compete with the crowds. He will wait until it is quiet enough for a whisper to be heard.

He waits for me to be willing to come away from the work and the toil of a busy day to have time to sit and to think and to read and to pray…alone. But sometimes I don’t…or sometimes I won’t. So, He just waits. Imagine that. The King of Glory waiting for my attention. How sad.

Having time to be in His presence is worth getting rid of whatever stands in the way of being able to do that. Simplicity is a better idea. Less. What is standing in His place? Let me think…

As I grow older and days go by…I realize that life is not a game. I’ve learned some lessons…I’ll learn some more. His will isn’t ‘doing what I want to’ in His Name. I want to be holy as He is Holy…not just imitating people who I see. And if I can learn to trust Him only…I know that I will learn to walk obediently.

Part of what I live for is to sort Him out and seek Him out…and there is a lot of sorting and seeking to do.

He is here and so am I.

Declaration: I will find new strength by separating myself unto the Lord. As I do, I will see things differently, which may in turn require some losses.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2013, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

APRIL 9

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Focus: Being filled with the spirit

Ephesians 5:18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation (a waste); but be filled with the Spirit.

An obvious reason people drink and take drugs is to ‘feel better’. When you don’t have much desire to live in the first place, and reality causes you a lot of emotional pain—getting numb seems like a pretty good idea. You become your own doctor and tell yourself you need to ‘medicate’ or you might not make it. Your real life is just too hard to face, so you attempt to make things a little less ‘real’. You think it’s working—but it’s not.

It’s interesting how Ephesians 5:18 offers ‘being filled with the Spirit’ as a substitute to using alcohol. I absolutely relate to this because being filled with the Spirit is how I was able to overcome my own drinking problem.

In the second chapter of Acts, we find the account of the Holy Spirit’s visitation to the early church. Jesus had prophesied of this in John 16:5-7. He was preparing His disciples for the time when He would be going back to His Father. He said it was necessary for Him to go away so that the Holy Spirit could come to them. Jesus explained that there would be many benefits to the Holy Spirit coming. The Holy Spirit would teach them and guide them into all truth. So, when the Holy Spirit came in Acts two, it was a fulfillment of the will and Word of God.

Even though Jesus had predicted the coming of the Holy Spirit, I doubt whether any of the disciples were expecting the magnitude of the powerful infilling they received. It was an amazing and supernatural occurrence. Really wild things were happening in an ‘upper room’ where a hundred and twenty people were gathered. They had been seeking the Lord in a time of deep unity. When the Holy Spirit came—the whole place, and everyone in it became filled.

Outsiders observed some of the events going on and thought that everyone was drunk. The visitation of the Holy Spirit was so captivating—those who were filled apparently lost their ‘pride’ and appeared to be ‘under the influence’.

Being filled with the Spirit is an experience that some religious groups find controversial. I have to say that I found it to be controversial in my own mind and I used to put limits on God. I had no real knowledge about the Holy Spirit and out of ignorance thought there was something wrong with being ‘filled’—or baptized in the Holy Spirit. At a time when I desperately needed ‘something more’, I prayed—and the Holy Spirit came into me. I wasn’t thinking about whether it was a right or wrong experience to be filled with the Spirit—I just knew I needed something more than I’d had in the past. In the prayer I prayed, I basically was saying to God, “Give me all You’ve got”—and He did.

Jesus said we should love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind. To me, that means giving Him total control of our entire being. It means being willing to be completely filled by Him…nothing held back.

The Holy Spirit made all the difference in my desire to live. Things I could never understand—started making sense. The Bible was suddenly amazing. Things I had read all my life had new meaning to me. I was definitely being guided and taught by the Lord in a new way—like never before. I had a purpose and passion to live for the first time ever!

As I began to realize that not everyone embraced the concept of being filled with the Holy Spirit—I just felt sorry for them. I knew they were missing so much. I wondered how anyone could not want all of God—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Some people wanted the Father and the Son, but they had some kind of problem with the Holy Spirit.

All I can say is being filled with the Holy Spirit was like putting on glasses. Things that were there all along but out of focus, became clear. It was like having a brighter light turned on in a room that had been dimly lit. I felt regret for all the years I hadn’t been ‘filled’. I knew part of why I hadn’t known about the Holy Spirit was my own fault. I had been holding back—thinking I wanted to have ‘control’ over my life. If I had really been seeking, I might have known there was more to be had at an earlier age. I had the same problem as a lot of other people—a combination of disinterest and ignorance. But, better late than never!

The Holy Spirit gave the disciples and the early church the power and ability they needed to bravely carry the gospel to the lost. By the Spirit’s power, they received boldness just like Jesus said they would in Acts chapter one. In our lifetime, we are seeing the Holy Spirit poured out again. Joel chapter two contains the prophecy of this blessing.

The infilling of the Holy Spirit isn’t a one time occurrence. A more accurate translation of Ephesians 5:18 is not just ‘be filled’, but ‘be being filled’, as a constant and ongoing experience. The Holy Spirit only comes where hearts are willing to receive. We will only be ‘filled’ according to our openness and willingness. How open and willing are you?

Declaration: I will find new strength by being filled with the Holy Spirit everyday. I will not hold back any part of myself from God. I will receive power to live a victorious life and have the boldness I need to keep moving forward.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book at the end of 2012, by the grace of God.

To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1

MARCH 13

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Focus: The sacrifice of praise

 Hebrews 13:15 (NKJV) Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

When God called me into ministry work, I still had a few addictions. Alcohol, prescription drugs, and cigarettes. 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 (NKJV) says, For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.

I look back now and see how merciful God was in my early days of recovery. When He first started giving me songs, I could hardly play the guitar and I had pain in my chest when I sang. I’ll never forget how God actually started opening doors for me to share my testimony and songs when I was ‘barely’ clean and sober.

The process was gradual for me. It was several months before I could quit smoking completely. Sometime during that first year, I dumped my remaining drugs in the toilet. I can still see the capsules swirling as I flushed them. It was a huge step of faith for me. ‘Wine’ was the only thing left…and was working on cutting back. Just drinking wine was almost like not drinking at all, compared to how much hard stuff I had consumed daily—in addition to wine—for several years before I had the heart to consider quitting everything. Within a year—I was done with all of it.

I sang on my own for a year and a half and was pretty steadily booked in churches, bible study groups, fellowships, coffee houses, etc. One Sunday night I was at a church I attended frequently and saw a few teenagers perform a song on the stage. I was impressed with their ability. After the service, I asked if they might like to get together to try doing some of my music. I had just turned 28 and felt like a fossil compared to them. I was surprised they seemed excited. We met at my house a week or so later and had a great first session. I had a lot of bookings and started including the group whenever it worked out. We had an instant bond with each other. We spent almost as much time in prayer as we did playing, and I believe it was one of the reasons there was such a strong anointing on our ministry from the start. We prayed about a name and the only one that ever witnessed in my heart was, “The Sacrifice of Praise”.

God was regularly giving me songs—sometimes, more than one in a day. I usually got the words and music all at once. One day, a melody came to me without words. I was a little puzzled by that. I recorded the music so I could learn it. I listened to it a lot and a few days later, I got the words. “Sometimes I think it isn’t easy—to walk the Christian way. Sometimes darkness and confusion seem to block the light of day. And sometimes I think it isn’t easy that my hands unto heaven I must raise. That’s the time I learn the meaning of the sacrifice of praise. And when I see how Jesus loves me, then all my thoughts and fears grow dim—and I see I have it easy just to live my life for Him. Sometimes when things are going good, it’s easy to tell the Lord how grateful we are for all He’s done. Other times, when just everything in the world seems wrong are the times we have an opportunity to really grow. It’s true—God inhabits the praises of His people, but it seems that the deeper the pain—the closer He feels when we reach out and praise Him. Thank You Lord, so much. Thank You Lord, so much…Sometimes I think it isn’t easy that my hands unto heaven I must raise. That’s the time I learn the meaning of the sacrifice of praise.”

We worked on the song at our practice sessions but had never performed it. A few weeks later, we were doing a concert on a Sunday night. The group was at my house loading up the van with all our equipment. We liked to arrive where we were playing an hour and a half early so we’d have plenty of time to pray and set up. On that day, we were running late and I was concerned. A sixteen year-old friend of the group named Jeff Ballinger called and some of the band members were talking to him on the phone. He wanted to go with us. There was no way we could wait for him, so we agreed to meet him at a spot on the way and he would ride with us from there. I told them to tell him to ‘hurry up’. We got to the spot and waited and waited. After at least twenty minutes, I said we couldn’t wait anymore. We had to get going. We got to the church and had to wait longer because no one was there. We rushed through our set up and did the concert. Jeff never came. Later that night a member of the band came to tell me Jeff had lost control of his car on the way. As the vehicle rolled over several times, he was thrown from the car and killed. I thought I would die, too.

The next day, his mother called and asked if we would sing at Jeff’s memorial service. I couldn’t imagine how I could do it—but I couldn’t say no. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I felt so responsible. His parents were incredibly merciful. Jeff had gone through a tough period of rebellion. His parents were grateful because our band had helped restore Jeff’s faith before he was killed. At the memorial service, God held us above our circumstances. I felt cradled in the palm of His hand. We sang, “The Sacrifice of Praise” for the first time.

At that vulnerable point in my recovery, it would have been easy to turn back. I chose not to.

Declaration: I will find new strength by trusting God to hold me above my circumstances when I can’t face the harshness of my reality. I will offer the sacrifice of praise, when praising God is the hardest thing to do—and He will get me through.

Click the video screen for: The Sacrifice of Praise, by Christina Cook Lee

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book at the end of 2012, by the grace of God.

To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8-3SSl7tMA&feature=plcp&context=C4988ce8VDvjVQa1PpcFMcrvGkSrfc7SAmfjEGAvRTPhI0DREP_v4%3D 

FEBRUARY 14

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Focus: Facing Reality

Acts 1:8 (NIV) (Jesus said) “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

I have two sisters—one older and one younger. When I was around seven or eight years old we saw the movie Peter Pan on television. It wasn’t animated. It was the one with Mary Martin. It seemed so real. After my sisters and I saw Peter Pan, we thought we could fly, too. Except, we didn’t have a bedroom with windows as big as doors that you could ‘throw open’. We just had a normal window–not the kind large enough to stand in while we were thinking beautiful thoughts waiting to fly away. We lived in a little house in the country.

We had a big silver propane tank in the back yard. We loved playing on it. Sometimes it was a horse. Sometimes it was a UFO. It was whatever we needed it to be. What we needed it to be this time, was a launching pad.

We had a tractor tire filled with sand for a sand box next to the propane tank. In Peter Pan they had magic dust. We didn’t have any of that—but we had sand. So, we got in the sand box and sprinkled some sand on our heads and climbed up on the propane tank and started thinking beautiful thoughts. We thought about our birthdays—and Christmas. We were ready and waiting to ‘take off’, but nothing happened. So, we tried harder—thinking of every wonderful thing we could imagine—but still, nothing happened.

I don’t know how long we were up there trying—but we never did fly. We were so sure we were going to—that we had taken rope and tied one end to our waists and tied the other end to the propane tank. So that once we got ‘up’ we’d be able to get back ‘down’. Ah, the faith and fantasies of a child.

As the years went by, life took some unhappy turns for me. I learned another kind of fantasy. For quite a few years—running from reality was my way of coping with the mess I had made of my life. I kept myself medicated with various prescription tranquilizers, speed, marijuana, cigarettes, and lots of alcohol. If I stayed numb—things didn’t seem quite as bad—except they weren’t getting any better, either. Far from it.

Surprisingly, I had a good career. I owned a couple of businesses and traveled all over the world. I had plenty of beautiful jewelry—five closets full of nice clothes, shoes, and purses. New cars. Fabulous homes. I had ‘everything’ materially speaking.

After several years of combining drugs and alcohol, my insides were raw. I was in and out of the hospital with ‘knife pains’ in my abdomen. I always carried a large bottle of Maalox in my purse. One doctor told me if I didn’t do something drastic, I was going to lose four feet of my intestines. I continued to drink and take drugs for a few more years. Prescription muscle relaxers ‘for the pain’ were added to my tranquilizers, sleeping pills, and alcohol.

My lungs were in terrible condition. I had serious respiratory problems and had to use inhalers all the time. Another doctor said if I didn’t quit smoking it was going to be disasterous. He said he had never seen such a bad set of lung x-rays for anyone my age in his life. He said I should not smoke one more cigarette. I was 24. I smoked for two more years.

I was in a lot of pain and hemorrhaging frequently. I didn’t seem to be able to help myself. I tried all kinds of things, but I just didn’t have the strength to quit on my own.

One day, in desperation, I was at the end of myself. I said, “God to fill me with Your Peace and with Your Spirit.” God had to have given me the words to say—because I had no idea what I needed. When I prayed that simple prayer, meaning it from the bottom of my heart—He came into my life in a whole new way. The heavy weight of all of the sins of my addictions and wrong choices lifted. The Christ I had accepted at the age of six in a salvation prayer became real to me in a way like I had never known Him before.

That day was the beginning of my life as an overcomer.

Declaration: I will find new strength and the ability to face reality as an overcomer by being filled with the power of Your Holy Spirit and Your Peace.

Click the video screen for the song: Wonder God, by Christina Cook Lee
Click the video screen for the song: Wonder God, by Christina Cook Lee

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book at the end of 2012, by the grace of God.

To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos

JANUARY 7

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Focus: Live and let live 

Luke 10:38-42 (NKJV) 38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” 41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Most interpretations of this scripture deal with the concept of devotion and service. Many sermons have been delivered about the fact that Mary was at Jesus’ feet listening to what He had to say–while Martha was all caught up in her work.

I would like to take a little time to look at another message we can draw from this important scripture. It is an accepted fact that we should not be so consumed with service for the Lord that we don’t spend time listening for His voice. What I want to look at in this story is something a little bit more subtle; something I have never heard addressed from any pulpit. What I want to look at is the element in the story that involves ‘expectations’.

In this life it is so easy to get caught up in someone else’s vision because we want their approval. In many ministries, there is the expectation that you must get in there and serve, if you love the Lord. People who are seen doing a lot of outward service are elevated and others who aren’t, can’t, or have chosen not to–begin to feel that they must not be doing enough…

It is interesting that this story involves two sisters. It could have been just ‘two women’. But God’s choice was that the story be about two sisters. The picture is painted of a behavior pattern that occurs a lot in families, but not just in families. The behavior pattern is the natural tendency of one person being made to feel like an outcast because they haven’t worked as hard as another–or because they chose to follow a calling that was not like the rest of the family.

The thing we have to remember in this life is that God made us all different. If He had wanted us to all be exactly alike, He could have easily created clones instead of human beings. As the infinitely creative one, He gave each of us a unique identity and a beautiful, one of a kind mind—like no one else’s. Some people want to make everyone else do things their way and if they don’t—well, they just don’t fit in…or, maybe they are even excluded.

If you are trying to recover from depression or dependency, chances are–you have been buried by the guilt of not living up to other people’s expectations—or, you are dealing with the disappointing reality that other people have not lived up to yours.

If you don’t learn your own calling and begin to operate comfortably in it—you will go through life constantly trying to live up to other people’s expectations or feeling like a failure because you haven’t been able to do what someone else thinks you should. God has something special and unique for you—and you don’t have to be ashamed of that. If He hasn’t revealed what it is yet, you don’t have to be ashamed of that, either. Don’t be tempted to become absorbed in someone else’s identity—ask God to show you your own.

Declaration: I release myself from the guilt of not living up to other people’s expectations and I choose to forgive, release, and bless those people who have not lived up to mine. Making the decision to do this gives me new strength.

To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book at the end of 2012, by the grace of God.