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Christina Cook Lee

Media Producer - Author - Blogger - Songwriter

Love

Getting rid of the cow in the road

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Topic: Love

Focus: Getting rid of the cow in the road

1 John 4:7-8 (NKJV) Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Self-hatred is one of the core reasons people become depressed and turn to substance abuse, eating disorders, isolation, and self-harm. Somewhere along the way you chose to believe things about yourself that were painful. These impressions made you feel abnormal, so you began compensating in abnormal ways. Through the spirit of deception that is attached to depression and all forms of self-abuse, you somehow believed that these methods would improve your ability to cope with your circumstances. Well, they didn’t, did they?

When you’ve been in a pattern of allowing your thoughts and emotions to rule the decisions you make—it’s hard to adapt to the concept of developing new and healthy habits.

Making a full recovery is real work and requires a lot of discipline. It’s important during this time that you keep reminding yourself of the steps you’ve made in the right direction. You are the one who will benefit most as you continue to move forward. So many of your wounds still need attention and healing.

There are two critical areas you may not have dealt with yet. One, is your need to be healed of the self-image that you are unlovable. The other, is your need to be loved—by yourself.  These are two primary factors that have contributed to your condition.

In John 10:10, Jesus exposes the spirit of deception, who is satan. In this verse, Jesus refers to satan as ‘the thief’, when He says, “The thief comes to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” That’s the truth. The thief has already spent a lot of time trying to steal from you, kill you, and destroy you—or you wouldn’t be reading this. In the rest of the verse Jesus goes on to say, “I am come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.” Abundant life is not depression, dependency, and self-abuse.

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

If self-hatred is a core factor that caused you to take the path you took—then the only lasting way for you to go in the opposite direction—is through finding the ability to see yourself as lovable and learning to love yourself.

When your life has been unhappy and you haven’t been successful in relationships, it’s common to blame others—either as the cause—or for not being able to fix you. All the while, the real problem lies in your inability to love yourself—which is actually preventing you from being able to love others properly and have healthy, balanced relationships.

In Ephesians 5:28-29, Jesus described the fact that a husband should love his wife as he loves himself and takes care of himself. Jesus was stating a simple, but profound truth: The importance of a person being able to love their self—so that they can love others.

If you haven’t found the ability to love yourself—you won’t be very good at loving someone else. It’s also pretty likely when you aren’t able to love yourself, that you will attract people who have the same kind of problem…someone who probably never learned to love their self either. It’s not very easy for two people with self-hate to be good at loving each other.

So you’re stuck. There is a cow in the middle of the road. The cow is your hatred toward yourself. The cow needs to get out of the way before anyone is going to be able to move ahead.

If you aren’t able to see yourself as lovable by any other means, maybe you need to think of yourself as ‘someone else’. Literally imagine ‘you’ as another person. Picture a vulnerable child. Is that child lovable? Of course it is. Are you capable of loving that child? Yes, you are. Start there. Nurture that child. Find out who that child is. Get to know the good healthy things that child could enjoy. Start building a new interest in that child—who is you. Show that child some love. It’s time to let go of all the memories, accusations, and excuses.

Whatever reason you have claimed as your excuse for self-hatred is not justified. God commands us to love as He loves. God made you—God loves you. God is Love—and you are lovable.  If God loves you, you can love yourself, too.

Declaration: I will find new strength by embracing the fact that God made me lovable. I will see myself as He sees me and will no longer hate what he made me to be.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Is love a choice, or not? 

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Topic: Love

Focus: Is love a choice, or not?

1 John 4:7-8 (NKJV) Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

‘Love’ is something that people like us—those who have battled with depression and dependency—have probably not been entirely successful at. There are a number of failed relationships in my past—probably in yours, too. How do we deal with that? How do we look at this scripture and think that we could have stuck it out with that abusive spouse–or that we should have been able to face the awfulness of our circumstances or fears without wanting to medicate ourselves or run?

We make a lot of choices in life. We choose whether we will have a soft drink, juice, tea, coffee, or water–based on ‘what we feel like having’, or what food we will be drinking it with.

Our decision of what movie to watch might be made depending on what kind of mood we are in at the time. We even pick out our clothes for the day from an emotional standpoint, the weather, or what kind of an impression we want to make.

Most of us have been raised to think for ourselves, so that we have become pretty fickle about a lot of things. When someone asks if we want to go somewhere or do something, we carefully calculate whether we might find anything more interesting to do during that time—maybe with another person, or whether we might rather spend the time doing something else we would prefer to do, or if maybe we’d just like to not do anything…before we are willing to commit.

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Link to New Strength Audio Version
New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

Even going into a coffee shop, the choices are seemingly endless. Regular coffee or decaf? Sugar, cream,  both, or neither? Hot coffee or iced? Coffee with flavored syrup or spiked with an extra shot of espresso?

Choices. I heard a message once, where it was stated that, ‘love is a choice’—meaning that when we are going through things that make loving someone, or people in general, a difficult thing to do—looking at love as something that you have decided in your heart to do—feel like it, or not–can help. That is an interesting concept and sounds attractive to our culture.

The scripture above lays out an awkward reality. It’s one of those passages that makes you squirm a little bit, if you are human. It’s one that makes us painfully aware that but for the grace of God we would all go to hell. The words are hard to digest because let’s face it, most of us have become tired of a relationship or two and have said, ‘that’s it’. Enough. Done with that.

According to this scripture, love is not a choice. These verses, from the way they are interpreted from the original text, state that God doesn’t just do things that are loving—He doesn’t just act out love. He IS love.

That makes a strong statement about whether we can choose to love, or not–if we say we are His, filled with Him, or if we claim we are living for Him.

How can we begin to love like He does? How can we love people who are unlovable in our mind–people who have failed us over and over? And, even when we try hard to show what love we have, how can we keep from sometimes missing the mark—or having our good intentions misinterpreted?

The choice we have to make then, is not whether we are going to love—but whether we are really His. If we are His, then we need to plead for His mercy and forgiveness for the times we have failed and ask Him to help us be so filled with Him that we would truly be transformed by the power of His love.

Declaration: My ability to love is being transformed by the power of God and His love living in me. I’m finding new strength.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

An open mind

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Topic: Love

Focus: An open mind

Proverbs 21:21 (NIV) Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.

I can’t imagine anyone purposely setting out to destroy their life and the lives of those around them. People don’t normally have those kind of intentions—yet it happens. Some of us have been the ones who caused others pain, and some of us have been a casualty in the wake of another person’s path of destruction.

It was a long time before I really understood the importance of having true, guiding principles to live by. I had no real grasp of the fact that ‘certain actions created certain results.’ I had a lot of hopes and expectations, but wasn’t on a path that led to ‘life, prosperity, and honor’. Not at all.

When I was young, I wrote a little verse that said, “I’m from yesterday, here today, and on my way to tomorrow. Trying hard to live. Trying to make my life what I dreamed it would be.” Truthfully, I didn’t have the slightest idea what it was I was looking for. What I ‘dreamed’ of, was a vague idea of happiness, but I didn’t possess a formula of any kind for finding it.

During that same period of my life, I wrote, “Confusion in my troubled mind, problems I can’t leave behind, good impressions I can’t make, being lonely I can’t take. In search of perfection, I find defection, always desiring a brighter gleam, dazzled by a perfect dream. Missing my goals by a tiny margin, up that mountain I keep on chargin’, I wonder if I’ll ever find the love I need to ease my mind.”

It’s easy to see that happiness and love were on my mind. I had the desire for a ‘good life’…I just lacked the willingness to follow what had been presented to me consistently throughout my life. I thought I had to blaze my own trail.

I can look back now and see the turning point so clearly. It’s not like a big bright light suddenly appeared and I knew what to do. I had searched hard…and it seems cliché to say, ‘in all the wrong places’, but it’s the truth. Yet what made the difference was not suddenly having all the answers to life, but coming to the realization that I needed help from God if I was ever going to find any kind of true happiness. Again, the key words are: needed help and God.

As time has passed and I’ve heard the stories of others—I know that what happened to me wasn’t so unusual. In fact, many people have gone through the same process I did. Mine was a path of heartbreak. It didn’t have to be—but it was. I still don’t know how I could have stopped myself, given the determined, stubbornness of my character. I was a wild horse that needed to be broken.

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

There are many things I wish I could go back and change. Many wrongs I would make right if I could. I still have regret for all the pain I caused. It’s something I would gladly wipe away, if it were that easy.

When I was young, I thought I was just way too smart to have to read directions for anything. I would look at something that required assembly and I seemed to have a sense for knowing how to put it together—so why should I take the time to read instructions? Things like that gave me a false sense of confidence in myself. I didn’t think I needed to have anybody tell me how to live or what to do. I was pretty sure I could do it on my own. I never asked for advice and I hardly ever followed the advice that anyone might have tried to give me. Are you relating to any of this?

No wonder I didn’t give the Word of God the place of priority it should have had in my plans as a young adult. The idea of studying the Bible seemed a lot like ‘reading the directions’…and I just didn’t think I needed to do that. I was convinced that righteousness was ‘bondage’, and I wanted to be ‘free’. Wow, what a mixed up philosophy. I can see it now—but I sure couldn’t then.

I live much differently these days. Not that I’ve got it all put together, even now. But, I think in general, I have much more respect for the ‘results’ that certain actions, most certainly create. I have a much higher regard for the importance of investing my time in the pursuit of God—who is the epitome of righteousness and love.

I’ve learned that there are two core qualities that lead to success in this life. Those qualities are righteousness and love. If God is the source of righteousness and love—then I need to pursue God to develop the qualities that will lead to a happy life. An ‘open mind’ was what I thought I had when I was younger. I was open to everything but God. Until I became open to God, things just kept going wrong for me. When I became open to God…things started going right.

Declaration: I will find new strength by purposely opening my mind to God. I will find happiness by pursuing love and righteousness…with God as my source. I will read the directions given in the Bible, and follow them.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Christian responsibility

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Topic: Love

Focus: Christian responsibility

1 John 3:16-18 (NCV) This is how we know what real love is: Jesus gave His life for us. So we should give our lives for our brothers and sisters. Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God’s love is not living in that person. My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.

Whether you’re a giver or a receiver, there are some important things to consider regarding Christian responsibility, when it comes to tangible expressions of love.

A brother or sister who has never been in need before, might have an awkward time discussing their need and making it known. People who don’t want to have to rely on others are very challenged by the idea of ‘taking charity’.

The opposite extreme, are people who have no problem letting others know when they have a need. They’ve become used to sharing the details of their life, so whenever there’s opportunity for them to make one of their needs known—they will. In addition, they’ve become content to let others take care of them, when truthfully, they could be perfectly capable of taking care of themselves…with a little direction.

(Read more below)

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Link to New Strength Audio Version
New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

A friend of mine told me recently about a period of her life when she was making excellent income—actually much more than she needed to live on. During that time, she realized that she was in a position to share with her adult siblings, so she did. She gave them housing and even provided generously for their everyday needs. As time passed, the economy took a nosedive and my friend was forced to make radical cut backs in her own lifestyle. Regretfully, she had to face the fact that she could no longer support her extended family. Unfortunately, her siblings had become accustomed to receiving all that my friend had been able to bless them with…in fact, they developed an ‘entitlement mentality’. When the day came that my friend had to tell her siblings that she was no longer able to pay their bills, instead of telling her, “Thanks for all you’ve done,” they actually turned on her and made her out to be the ‘bad guy’, for ‘cutting them off’.

This may be an exceptional case, but it is a reality of what can happen when people get used to receiving something they really don’t deserve—that they didn’t earn. My friend’s siblings were ‘able bodied’ and not ‘in need’.

Another scenario is the ‘unemployment syndrome’. In a season of unemployment, a person can become very insecure about the future. Some people simply need encouragement with their ‘self-esteem’ to get back on their feet. If they lost their last job, they still may be suffering from the experience, and might fear they would face more rejection if they tried to work again. However, a person who lost a job shouldn’t consider themselves ‘unemployable’. Lots of people who were terminated from one position went on to become successful at another. Losing a job doesn’t have to be the end of the world for anyone, unless they allow it to be. The Bible says people who don’t work should not be entitled to eat. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” The Bible is clear about the fact that not everybody who is unemployed is worthy of assistance.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NCV) says, “Remember this! In the last days there will be many troubles, because people will love themselves, love money, brag, and be proud. They will say evil things against others and will not obey their parents or be thankful or be the kind of people God wants. They will not love others, will refuse to forgive, will gossip, and will not control themselves. They will be cruel, will hate what is good, will turn against their friends, and will do foolish things without thinking. They will be conceited, will love pleasure instead of God, and will act as if they serve God but will not have His power. Stay away from those people.”

An unemployed person who fits into some of the description given in the verses above, probably needs to accept responsibility for taking care of their own needs and start working. Too much help from well-meaning people, can enable some people to continue being ‘needy’. It can also take away a person’s intentions of becoming independent or self-supporting.

In recovery from depression and dependency, a person who started out in a time of true need might fall into a ‘victim mentality’ and allow their situation to extend beyond normal limits if they aren’t encouraged to move forward. It’s important to remember ‘tangible expressions of love’, shouldn’t become a situation of bondage or dependency.

Declaration: I will find new strength by seeking God’s guidance and searching the scriptures for wisdom, should any of these situations occur in my life or the life of someone close to me.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Faithful love

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Topic: Love

Focus: Faithful love

Ruth 1:16 (NKJV) Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.

In the Old Testament of the Bible, there is a sweet little story tucked between the pages of Judges and 1 Samuel, called the Book of Ruth. It’s only four chapters long and is really worth the short time it takes to read the whole thing.

The story is full of rich symbols and imagery, and we could all benefit by contemplating the kindness shown by a faithful daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law.

Around a thousand years before the birth of Jesus, there was a famine in the country of Israel. A husband and wife named Elimelech and Naomi, left Bethlehem, Israel with their sons, Mahlon and Chilion, and emigrated to the country of Moab.

We aren’t told whether the famine had anything to do with it, but while they were in Moab, Elimelech died. Naomi’s two sons later married Moabite women. Mahlon married Ruth, and Chilion married Orpah. Before they were able to have any children, Mahon and Chilion both died, also. Leaving Naomi and her daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, alone. All of this happened in the first five verses of Chapter One.

Following the death of her husband and two sons, Naomi decided she should leave Moab and return to Bethlehem. Knowing she had no way to provide for her daughters-in-law, Naomi encouraged the two young women to go back to their own mothers and hope that God would give them another husband from their own people.

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New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

Orpha decided to follow Naomi’s advice, but Ruth just couldn’t. Ruth had a deep commitment to her mother-in-law. She knew it would be very difficult for Naomi to survive alone. Ruth told Naomi, “Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn from back from following you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.”

After about a seven to ten day journey, Naomi and Ruth arrived in Bethlehem, at the beginning of barley harvest. The whole city was stirred up because of them, and the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them, “Don’t call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty…”

Naomi and Ruth had to have food, so Ruth went to the fields of a man named Boaz, who was a relative of her deceased father-in-law, Elimelech. Boaz was a wealthy man with integrity. In those times, widows, strangers, and orphans were allowed to go into the fields for leftovers after the regular harvest crew had gathered the crop. The corners of the fields were purposely left unharvested and a portion of the crop in the middle of the field was also purposely left behind for those in need. It was a ‘welfare system’ that was set forth in the book of Leviticus as a way of sharing with those who were less fortunate.

Boaz had heard of Ruth’s loyalty to her mother-in-law and told Ruth to continue to come to his fields to find grain. He instructed his workers to leave extra grain behind for Ruth and to honor her.

At the end of the harvest season, Boaz performed all of the necessary duties according to their customs and committed to taking Ruth as his wife. By marrying Ruth, Boaz redeemed both Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi.

Ruth and Boaz had a son who they named Obed, who by their laws was considered the same as a son to Naomi and legal heir to Elimelech’s property.

Obed later became the father of Jesse, who was the father of David. We know from historical records that Jesus was from the lineage of David.

The moral of this story is that genuine love and kindness will be rewarded by God.

Declaration: I will find new strength by studying the role models of the Bible and learning from their examples.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.

Seeking God the right way

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Topic: Love

Focus: Seeking God the right way

Psalm 143:8 (NKJV) Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You.

David really knew how to pray. He was able to state so honestly the desperation of his soul, always declaring God as his only possible hope.

(Read more below)

Link to New Strength Audio Version
New Strength Inspirational Statement of the Day

 NOW, YOU CAN LISTEN AND/OR READ!

Psalm 143 is a prayer of David. It’s a passage that any depressed or discouraged person could relate to:

  • Hear my prayer, O Lord. Give ear to my supplications! In Your faithfulness answer me, and in Your righteousness.
  • Do not enter into judgment with Your servant, for in Your sight no one living is righteous. For the enemy has persecuted my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me dwell in darkness, like those who have long been dead. Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is distressed.
  • I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands. I spread out my hands to You; my soul longs for You like a thirsty land. Selah.
  • Answer me speedily, O Lord; my spirit fails! Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like those who go down into the pit. Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You.
  • Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; in You I take shelter. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. Revive me, O Lord, for Your Name’s sake! For Your righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble. In Your mercy cut off my enemies, and destroy all those who afflict my soul; for I am Your servant.

In the times of David’s life when he was depressed, he had a unique way of getting God’s attention. As we examine this prayer of David in detail, we see that throughout the whole passage, David continually affirms God’s character traits and attributes. In these few verses, David lists at least twenty qualities of God’s divine nature. David recognizes the Lord as: The One who hears prayer, the One who is faithful, righteous, able to judge, holy, creative, powerful, the source, loving, kind, trustworthy, the One who is able to deliver, shelter, teach, the One who can revive, the One who is merciful, strong, mighty, the victor, and the master.

David starts out by appealing to the Lord’s faithfulness and righteousness. David is quick to admit his own overwhelming need and submits his lowly position of humility and distress.

Next, David mentions his relationship with the Lord, the years he has spent meditating on the works of the Lord, and how much he is inspired by the works of the Lord’s hands. David indicates his great need for even more contact with the Lord at this time, by spreading out his hands in the same way a thirsty land reaches for water.

David continues pursuing God by confessing his immediate need for the Lord to answer his cry for help. He indicates that his strength is nearly exhausted and he pleads with urgency to the Lord, as a dying man fighting for his soul. David is crying out for the Lord to reveal His lovingkindness by rescuing him from the place he has had to dwell because of the persecution of his enemies. David is desperate for light and revelation. He has been trapped in darkness, and can’t see a way out of his circumstances. He is so crushed and persecuted that he has become disoriented. He is utterly lost and has no idea which way he should walk to get away from those who are afflicting him.

David is searching with all his heart for deliverance from his enemies and shelter in God. He knows God is good and capable of teaching him what he needs to learn. He wants to be revived and led out of his trouble, so that the Lord would be glorified and receive praise. David calls out to his Master for mercy, as a servant of God.

Our own point of need may be as extreme to us as David’s was to him—the question is, do we honor God as David did? Do we pray with the same kind of fervency and expectancy as David did?

Declaration: I will find new strength by honoring Almighty God and acknowledging His great power as I seek Him in prayer. I will magnify the Lord by exalting Him with my devotion.

IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO NEW STRENGTH DEVOTIONAL BELOW, A NEW SEGMENT WILL COME TO YOUR EMAIL EACH DAY.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, https://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/playlists?sort=dd&view=1

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee 2012. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog.