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Christina Cook Lee

Media Producer - Author - Blogger - Songwriter

Learning From Our Mistakes

Learning from our mistakes

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JUNE 27 

Focus: True love, compassion, and forgiveness

Proverbs 21:2 (NKJV) Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the hearts.

It’s hard to learn from a mistake—if we’re not willing to admit we made one. Not many of us set out to do the wrong thing, when we’re hoping for good results. Most people prefer to have others think they are smart rather than stupid. The same way we hope people will think we make good choices—not bad ones. But as much as we’d like to be right—sometimes we’re just wrong.

There is a very illustrious character in the Bible who is a perfect example of this. He was the first disciple chosen by Jesus and the one we probably know more about than any of the other disciples.

Peter would have easily won ‘drama king’ if there had been a superlative contest among the disciples. In addition, Peter would most likely have been dubbed ‘most outgoing’—as well as ‘most impulsive’, ‘fastest runner’, and ‘most outspoken’. Peter was typically a first responder whenever Jesus asked a question. Even though was eager to answer—his answers often weren’t right—and Jesus had to correct him. In spite of his intentions, Peter didn’t always look as good as he meant to look. Yet, of all the disciples—Peter is the one Jesus called, ‘the rock’…upon which He would build His church.

In their final hours of togetherness before the crucifixion, Peter repeatedly and passionately pledged his allegiance to Jesus in front of the other disciples. A little later, when Jesus was taken into custody—all of the disciples scattered—but it was Peter who denied he even knew Jesus when he was questioned…not once, but three times in that one night.

Peter wanted to be more loyal and faithful than any of the others. He claimed he would stand by Jesus to the death—but when the situation turned ugly—he was just as chicken as the rest.

After Peter’s agony—his blunder becomes the perfect opportunity for Jesus to demonstrate true love, compassion,  forgiveness, and restoration.

Within a couple of weeks of the time when Jesus was resurrected, Peter decides to go out fishing. Several of the other disciples decide they’ll go out in the boat with Peter, too. They fish all night and catch nothing. In the early morning light, someone calls from shore and asks if they’ve caught anything. They answer, ‘No’. The person on the shore tells them to try putting their net on the ‘right side’ of the boat. When they do—they aren’t even able to pull the net into the boat because there are so many fish in it. The disciple named John recognizes the voice of the person who has been talking to them from the shore. He says, “It is the Lord”.

With that information, Peter jumps out of the boat and into the water. He heads for shore as fast as he can go. He doesn’t want to be slowed down by the fish in the net and time it would take to get to shore in the boat. When the others arrive, they all discover that Jesus has prepared fresh bread and fish for them to eat.

After breakfast, Jesus asks Peter if he loves him three times. I like to think Jesus is giving Peter three chances to say he loves Him—to equal the number of times Peter had said he didn’t know Jesus before the crucifixion. Each time Peter says ‘Yes’, Jesus gives him an assignment. The assignments are, “Feed my lambs, Take care of my sheep, and Feed my sheep”.

By doing these things, Jesus is letting Peter know he is restored. He is giving Peter another chance to prove himself. Most importantly, Jesus is letting Peter know He hasn’t given up on him. He still wants Peter to build His church. He wants Peter to shepherd the new converts through to maturity in their faith. A long-term task and a real challenge for someone as impetuous as Peter.

Thirty or so years after Jesus ascended back into heaven—Peter had done a lot of preaching and suffering for his faith. He wrote some important letters to some of the followers of Christ he had shepherded—letters that are now considered ‘holy scripture’. In part of one letter, Peter encouraged people to be ‘patient and self-controlled’—admitting that someone who lacks these virtues is shortsighted and like someone who is blind.

Peter had to learn a lot of things the hard way. Although he messed up frequently when he was younger—Peter finished well. At the end of his life, he didn’t deny he knew Jesus—in fact, he was martyred for his faith.

Declaration: I will find new strength by following the instructions of Peter in 2 Peter chapter one. By exercising patience and self-control, I will make fewer mistakes. When I do make a mistake, I will be willing to admit I’ve been wrong and learn from it…and draw from the true love, compassion, forgiveness and restoration of the Lord.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2013, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

Learning from our past mistakes

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May 27

Focus: Distraction

Isaiah 26:3-4 (KJV) Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever: for the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

Distraction is the cause of many mistakes. When your mind is somewhere else, it’s easy to forget to do the simplest things. Distraction is common when you’re depressed or dependent. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard you try to stay in the moment—your mind just wanders. Realizing you’ve forgotten to do something important makes you feel worse than ever, so your feelings of self-worth sink even further. Often, you feel ashamed and remorseful when something slipped your mind. Sometimes you can fix your mistake—and sometimes you can’t.

Another one of the results of distraction is making a decision to do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. In both depression and dependency, you are doing a lot of ‘time traveling’. Living in the past one moment—and in the future the next. It’s so typical to not be in the ‘now’ and no wonder you make mistakes when your mind isn’t on what you’re doing. Really simple things can escape you—even when you’re trying to do things right.

Having too many things on your mind is a typical cause of distraction. When you’re depressed or dependent, more than one thing can be ‘too many’. While you’re trying to do one thing right—you’re thinking about another thing you also need to be working on—and before you know it, you’ve made a mistake on the thing you were doing.

When you’re feeling low, you might be struck with an impulse to try to make yourself ‘feel better’. A ‘feel better’ thought, like taking a drink, using a drug, over-eating, compulsive shopping, and so on, may suddenly come into your mind—taking it away from reason and sanity. Before you know it, you’ve done something you had decided not to do anymore. The reason you did it was because you allowed your mind to be distracted by imagining how that ‘wrong thing’ would make you feel better. But after you did it, the feeling didn’t last, and then the mistake you made caused you to be stuck with more consequences—all because you allowed yourself to be distracted.

Letting your mind get carried away is the cause of most of the problems you have. Daydreaming and time traveling are such culprits of stealing the time you should be spending in reality. It’s almost impossible to do things right in reality—when you just ‘aren’t there’.

Let’s face it. Making mistakes causes a lot of problems. It causes problems for you, your family, your friends, your employer…everyone. It’s important that you get a handle on distraction so you can stop having to deal with all the problems caused by your mistakes.

How can you stop making mistakes when you can’t get your mind to focus? The best advice I can give you on developing your ability to focus, is to keep your mind on God and trust Him for the help you need. Isaiah 26:3-4 (KJV) says, Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever: for the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

I don’t think it’s enough to ‘wish’ we could stop something. Wishing won’t change anything. Finding the ability to trust God completely is the only way we can stop being depressed and addicted. All of the things we suffer from can be traced to the simple fact that we don’t—or won’t trust God. The problem we have with distraction is a lack of trust. True trust in God results in perfect peace—not distraction.

A person with perfect peace is able to focus on what is right. When our mind is in complete agreement with the mind of Christ—we will want to do what is right. Going down a wrong path would be out of the question if our mind was completely focused on the Lord and our trust was in Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. What makes us daydream and time travel, is choosing to lean on our own understanding and not acknowledging Him. If we could walk in true communion with the Lord and live more in His presence—trusting Him to help us do things right—He would not allow us to make so many mistakes. If we would check with Him about every little thing, He would let us know that what we were about to do was wrong.

It all boils down to choosing His way instead of ours, doesn’t it? What could be better than having the peace of God? If distraction is our weakness—we need to be made strong in the area of our weakness. The Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength and nothing is too hard for Him. There is no weakness in us that He is unable to make strong.

Declaration: I will find new strength by trusting the Lord JEHOVAH who is everlasting strength. I will find perfect peace by keeping my mind focused on Him. As I live in perfect peace, distraction will not cause me to make mistakes.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2013, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

Learning from our mistakes

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APRIL 27 

Focus: Experience

Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

No matter how much education a person has had—practical experience is a key element to success. And what is experience? Most definitions will say the word means something personally encountered or lived through.

You may have a lot of experience you’d rather not talk about. We all do. It’s hard to believe some of the things we may have done when we were not interested in God’s ways. Most of us wish we hadn’t made so many wrong decisions and mistakes.

No one goes through life and never makes mistakes. Experience isn’t accomplished by flawless attempts to ‘live through’ something. Usually experience is gained through a lot of trial and error. Any successful, honest person will tell you they didn’t get to where they are by being perfect. Even though many people strive for perfection and try with all their heart to do things right—they still make mistakes…sometimes without realizing it. It’s actually normal to think what you are in the act of doing, is right. Hardly anybody sets out to fail. It’s never until after a mistake has been made—later in time—that an error is realized.

There’s a difference between a mistake and sin. ‘Sin’ is when we are fully aware that what we are about to do is wrong and we do it anyway. A mistake is something that seemed right to us—but, wasn’t.

Proverbs 14:12 says, There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof is the way of death. So, just because something seemed right and wasn’t, doesn’t mean there might not be harmful consequences. An honest mistake can create lots and lots of problems and lead to a chain of unfortunate events.

So, aside from the sin—how can we live with the mistakes we’ve made? How can we not be ashamed of some of the ridiculous wrongs we did? How can there be any hope for someone who failed so miserably—all the while, thinking they were doing something they thought was right?

I love the comfort given in Romans chapter five:

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

I would like to paraphrase that passage:

Because we have made the decision to be joined to God through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, we can have peace with all of the sins we have committed and also the mistakes we’ve made. Because of the forgiveness and cleansing we have received through the blood of Jesus and His sacrifice—we have undeserved favor in our present circumstances and can expect a happy and fulfilled future as we give God praise and thanks for His great love and kindness. In addition, we can actually praise God for the trials we have been through and our mistakes, knowing that those trials and mistakes have given us the knowledge we needed to become less impulsive. Because we now know we should live cautiously and not recklessly, our knowledge and experience has given us wisdom and a greater understanding of how to live in right ways that will lead to better results in the future. We can have peace with our imperfection and not be ashamed of our sin or the mistakes we’ve made, because we have the abiding assurance of everlasting salvation and have chosen to be filled with the Holy Spirit—who was given and sent for the purpose of enabling us to fully receive the transforming love of God completely into our hearts.

After a few days at my first ‘real job’, my boss needed a letter typed right away. This was back in the days when you actually typed on paper with a typewriter. The typewriter I had to use was not ‘self correcting’. My typing was not terrible, but I had made a few mistakes and had to erase the mistyped letters and retype them. I was concerned because I wanted the letter to be perfect. I was mourning my mistakes and a co-worker made me feel better when he said, “If you don’t make mistakes, it means you’re not doing anything”.

Declaration: I will find new strength by believing God can create a good future for me—in spite of me and my best efforts—which don’t always turn out right. I will learn and grow from my experience and keep moving forward.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2013, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse: http://www.youtube.com/user/NewStrengthMusic/videos?view=1&flow=grid

Learning from our past mistakes

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MARCH 27 

Focus: Receiving your degree in ‘Failure Management’

Romans 5:10 (NKJV) For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.

Do you have any idea what an amazing future lies ahead of you, if you choose it? Sure, there is a path of destruction behind you—but, the destruction can be eternal history from this point forward. Imagine a line drawn in the sand at ‘today’—and the future becoming completely different than the past . . . in a good way.

It’s not that you want to ‘forget’ the past. Not at all. There is an incredible wealth of lesson material there. It might not seem that valuable to you right now—but in the future, you will put it to good use. Try not to block it all out of your mind—even if you don’t want to think about it. Just file it away for reference. At the right time, you’ll be able to draw from that well. All of the bad stuff will be turned into ‘hard won wisdom’ in time, if you look at it that way.

When you’ve had a lot of disappointments, failures, and setbacks—you might want to just move on and forget about all the mess behind you. But, if you look at the past like a ‘school’—you can attach value to the lessons you’ve learned. Think of every failure as course work and attach a ‘credit’ to it, as though it was a class you took to gain a particular kind of knowledge you couldn’t get out of a book. You might estimate the classes you’ve taken and find you have a ‘Master’s Degree’—or even a ‘Doctorate’ in ‘Failure Management’. You’ve learned a lot by going through all you have—things other people might still be trying to learn, haven’t learned yet, or may never learn. If you look at each experience with the right attitude, you won’t have to go back and repeat any of those lessons again.

You can only start looking at the past as valuable—when you are finally ready to leave it there. If you dwell on it, and continue to repeat the same mistakes—you will be ‘stuck’. When you’re living in the ‘now’ and your mind is ‘back there somewhere’—you’re not connected with yourself. You need to pull your mind out of the past and let it catch up to the present, so you can move forward.

With all you’ve experienced, you might have some sense of hopelessness because of the bridges burned and the many regrets you have about the way things went for you. Try not to be so focused on that, either. Yes, it’s sad when you have a lot of history that you can’t re-write, but if you can just ‘put it away’ you’ll do better. You don’t want to forget it—or dwell on it—just put it away.

There is such an epidemic of depression and dependency in the world. You’ve ‘been there and done that’. You’re on your way to a more stable place—where you’ll be able to turn all of this around and use it to help others. Helping others may not seem all that exciting to you right now–when you can barely get through a day of your own life—but, down the road a bit—you will remember reading this, as you are faced with someone who is at a point of ‘need’. When you’re able to draw from that well you dug somewhere back there—you will have a higher respect for where you have ‘been’, and the resources you’ve stored up–which will always be available to you. You will find yourself able to relate to that person and give them life saving hope and encouragement because of your ‘Master’s Degree’ or ‘Doctorate’ in ‘Failure Management’.

At times you feel like you’ll never get over the pain of your mistakes. But, you will. The key is to stop re-living them. You also have trouble believing that there could be a better future. But, there is. You wonder why so many things didn’t turn out the way you had hoped they would. But, there is a reason. It’s hard feeling like such a failure. But, you’re not alone. More people than you can imagine are working on their ‘Failure Management’ degree. They all wonder about the same things. Some of them will stay in school and graduate. Others will drop out or keep failing courses. They will miss their chance for a degree and continue going in the wrong kind of circles for the rest of their life.

Having a degree in ‘Failure Management’ is respectable—in the right kind of circles. You might be surprised who some of the alumnae have been. Some of those who graduated have gone on to high levels of success in a wide variety of admirable fields. They may have even found their amazing opportunity because the person doing the interview saw in them the qualitites of an ‘overcomer’—and that’s just the kind of person the employer was looking for.

You have a future which can be as bright as the promises of God—who is the President of the University. He knows your history and is willing to give you His recommendation. With His help—you can’t lose.

Declaration: I will find new strength by viewing my past mistakes as course material toward my degree in ‘Failure Management’. I will value the investment I have made in my education and trust God to unfold the bright future He has prepared for me.

All NEW STRENGTH posts are Copyright by Christina Cook Lee as of the date they were written and posted. Please request permission to re-post or re-blog. This material will be published as a book in 2013, by the grace of God. To subscribe to New Strength, select ‘follow’ in the upper left corner of this page.

For music selections that will help bring hope and encouragement during your recovery from depression and addiction, browse:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW5unzXXC0